《蓝色特快上的秘密-蓝色列车之谜-蓝色列车(英文版)》蓝色列车之谜-蓝色列车(英文版)-第47章

〃I　have　been　gambling；〃　he　said；　with　a　light　laugh；　〃gambling　unsuccessfully。　I　have　lost　everything　…　everything；　that　is；　that　I　have　with　me。〃　
Katherine　looked　at　him　with　a　troubled　face。　She　was　aware　at　once　of　something　new　in　his　manner；　some　hidden　excitement　that　betrayed　itself　in　a　hundred　different　infinitesimal　signs。　
〃I　should　think　you　were　always　a　gambler。　The　spirit　of　gambling　appeals　to　you。〃　
〃Every　day　and　in　every　way　a　gambler？　You　are　about　right。　Don"t　you　find　something　stimulating　in　it？　To　risk　all　on　one　throw　…　there　is　nothing　like　it。〃　
Calm　and　stolid　as　she　believed　herself　to　be；　Katherine　felt　a　faint　answering　thrill。　
〃I　want　to　talk　to　you；〃　went　on　Derek；　〃and　who　knows　when　I　may　have　another　opportunity？　There　is　an　idea　going　about　that　I　murdered　my　wife　…　no；　please　don"t　interrupt。　It　is　absurd；　of　course。〃　He　paused　for　a　minute　or　two；　then　went　on；　speaking　more　deliberately。　〃In　dealing　with　the　police　and　Local　Authorities　here　I　have　had　to　pretend　to　…　well　…　a　certain　decency。　I　prefer　not　to　pretend　with　you。　I　meant　to　marry　money。　I　was　on　the　look　out　for　money　when　I　first　met　Ruth　Van　Aldin。　She　had　the　look　of　a　slim　Madonna　about　her；　and　I　…　well　…　I　made　all　sorts　of　good　resolutions　…　and　was　bitterly　disillusioned。　My　wife　was　in　love　with　another　man　when　she　married　me。　She　never　cared　for　me　in　the　least。　Oh；　I　am　not　plaining；　the　thing　was　a　perfectly　respectable　bargain。　She　wanted　Leconbury　and　I　wanted　money。　The　trouble　arose　simply　through　Ruth"s　American　blood。　Without　caring　a　pin　for　me；　she　would　have　liked　me　to　be　continually　dancing　attendance。　Time　and　again　she　as　good　as　told　me　that　she　had　bought　me　and　that　I　belonged　to　her。　The　result　was　that　I　behaved　abominably　to　her。　My　father…in…law　will　tell　you　that；　and　he　is　quite　right。　At　the　time　of　Ruth"s　death；　I　was　faced　with　absolute　disaster。〃　He　laughed　suddenly。　〃One　is　faced　with　absolute　disaster　when　one　is　up　against　a　man　like　Rufus　Van　Aldin。〃　
〃And　then？〃　asked　Katherine　in　a　low　voice。　
〃And　then；〃　Derek　shrugged　his　shoulders；　〃Ruth　was　murdered　…　very　providentially。〃　
He　laughed；　and　the　sound　of　his　laugh　hurt　Katherine。　She　winced。　
〃Yes；〃　said　Derek。　〃that　wasn"t　in　very　good　taste。　But　it　is　quite　true。　Now　I　am　going　to　tell　you　something　more。　From　the　very　first　moment　I　saw　you　I　knew　you　were　the　only　woman　in　the　world　for　me。　I　was　…　afraid　of　you。　I　thought　you　might　bring　me　bad　luck。〃　
〃Bad　luck？〃　said　Katherine　sharply。　
He　stared　at　her。　〃Why　do　you　repeat　it　like　that？　What　have　you　got　in　your　mind？〃　
〃I　was　thinking　of　things　that　people　have　said　to　me。〃　
Derek　grinned　suddenly。　〃They　will　say　a　lot　to　you　about　me；　my　dear；　and　most　of　it　will　be　true。　Yes；　and　worse　things　too　…　things　that　I　shall　never　tell　you。　I　have　been　a　gambler　always　…　and　I　have　taken　some　long　odds。　I　shan"t　confess　to　you　now　or　at　any　other　time。　The　past　is　done　with。　There　is　one　thing　I　do　wish　you　to　believe。　I　swear　to　you　solemnly　that　I　did　not　kill　my　wife。〃　
He　said　the　words　earnestly　enough；　yet　there　was　somehow　a　theatrical　touch　about　them。　He　met　her　troubled　gaze　and　went　on：　
〃I　know。　I　lied　the　other　day。　It　was　my　wife"s　partment　I　went　into。〃　
〃Ah；〃　said　Katherine。　
〃It"s　difficult　to　explain　just　why　I　went　in；　but　I"ll　try。　I　did　it　on　an　impulse。　You　see；　I　was　more　or　less　spying　on　my　wife。　I　kept　out　of　sight　on　the　train。　Mirelle　had　told　me　that　my　wife　was　meeting　the　te　de　la　Roche　in　Paris。　Well；　as　far　as　I　had　seen；　that　was　not　so。　I　felt　ashamed；　and　I　thought　suddenly　that　it　would　be　a　good　thing　to　have　it　out　with　her　once　and　for　all；　so　I　pushed　open　the　door　and　went　in。〃　
He　paused。　
〃Yes；〃　said　Katherine　gently。　
〃Ruth　was　lying　on　the　bunk　asleep　…　her　face　was　turned　away　from　me　…　I　could　only　see　the　back　of　her　head。　I　could　have　waked　her　up；　of　course。　But　suddenly　I　felt　a　reaction。　What；　after　all；　was　there　to　say　that　we　hadn"t　both　of　us　said　a　hundred　times　before？　She　looked　so　peaceful　lying　there。　I　left　the　partment　as　quietly　as　I　could。〃　
〃Why　lie　about　it　to　the　police？〃　asked　Katherine。　
〃Because　I"m　not　a　plete　fool。　I"ve　realized　from　the　beginning　that；　from　the　point　of　view　of　motive；　I"m　the　ideal　murderer。　If　I　once　admitted　that　I　had　been　in　her　partment　just　before　she　was　murdered；　I"d　do　for　myself　once　and　for　all。〃　
〃I　see。〃　
Did　she　see？　She　could　not　have　told　herself。　She　was　feeling　the　magic　attraction　of　Derek"s　personality；　but　there　was　something　in　her　that　resisted；　that　held　back。。。　
〃Katherine　…〃　
〃Yes？〃　
〃You　know　that　I　care　for　you。　Do　…　do　you　care　for　me？〃　
〃I　…　I　don"t　know。〃　
Weakness　there。　Either　she　knew　or　she　did　not　know。　
If　…　if　only　…　
She　cast　a　look　round　desperately　as　though　seeking　something　that　would　help　her。　A　soft　colour　rose　in　her　cheeks　as　a　tall　fair　man　with　a　limp　came　hurrying　along　the　path　towards　them　…　Major　Knighton。　
There　was　relief　and　an　unexpected　warmth　in　her　voice　as　she　greeted　him。　
Derek　stood　up　scowling；　his　face　black　as　a　thundercloud。　
〃Lady　Tamplin　having　a　flutter？〃　he　said　easily。　〃I　must　join　her　and　give　her　the　benefit　of　my　system。〃　
He　swung　round　on　his　heel　and　left　them　together。　Katherine　sat　down　again。　Her　heart　was　beating　rapidly　and　unevenly；　but　as　she　sat　there　talking　monplaces　to　the　quiet；　rather　shy　man　beside　her；　her　self…mand　came　back。　
Then　she　realized　with　a　shock　that　Knighton　also　was　laying　bare　his　heart；　much　as　Derek　had　done；　but　in　a　very　different　manner。　
He　was　shy　and　stammering。　The　words　came　haltingly　。　
〃From　the　first　moment　I　saw　you　…　I　…　I　ought　not　to　have　spoken　so　soon　…　but　Mr　Van　Aldin　may　leave　here　any　day；　and　I　might　not　have　another　chance。　I　know　you　can"t　care　for　me　so　soon　…　that　is　impossible。　I　dare　say　it　is　presumption　anyway　on　my　part。　I　have　private　means；　but　not　very　much　…　no；　please　don"t　answer　now。　I　know　what　your　answer　would　be。　But　in　case　I　went　away　suddenly　I　just　wanted　you　to　know　…　that　I　care。〃　
She　was　shaken　…　touche