《my name is red-我的名字叫红》我的名字叫红-第175章

faceup　on　the　floor　beneath　the　three　of　them。　
One　of　them　sat　on　my　knees。　Another　on　my　right　arm。　
Black pressed a knee into each of my shoulders； he firmly situated his　
weight between my stomach and chest； and sat on me。 I was pletely　
immobilized。 All of us were stunned and breathing hard。 This is what I　
remembered：　
My　late　uncle　had　a　rogue　son　two　years　older　than　me—I　hope　he’s　been　
caught　in　the　act　of　raiding　caravans　and　has　long　since　been　beheaded。　This　
jealous　beast；　realizing　I　knew　more　than　he　and　was　also　more　intelligent　and　
refined； would find any excuse to pick a fight； or else he’d insist that we　
e；　he’d　hold　me　down　with　his　knees　on　
419　
my shoulders in this same way； he’d stare into my eyes； the way Black was　
now　doing；　and　let　a　string　of　saliva　hang　down；　slowly　directing　it　toward　my　
eyes　as　it　gained　mass；　and　he’d　be　greatly　entertained　as　I　tried　to　avoid　it　by　
turning　my　head　to　the　right　and　to　the　left。　
Black　told　me　not　to　hide　anything。　Where　was　the　last　picture？　Confess！　
I　felt　suffocating　regret　and　anger　for　two　reasons：　First；　I’d　said　everything　I　
had for naught； unaware that they’d e to an agreement beforehand；　
secondly； I hadn’t fled； unable to imagine that their envy would reach this　
level。　
Black　threatened　to　cut　my　throat　if　I　didn’t　produce　the　last　picture。　
How　very　ridiculous。　I　firmly　closed　my　lips；　as　if　the　truth　would　escape　if　I　
opened　my　mouth。　Part　of　me　also　thought　that　there　was　nothing　left　for　me　
to　do。　If　they　came　to　an　agreement　among　themselves　and　turned　me　over　to　
the　Head　Treasurer　as　the　murderer；　they’d　end　up　saving　their　own　hides。　My　
only　hope　lay　with　Master　Osman；　who　might　point　out　another　suspect　or　
another clue； but then； could I be certain what Black said about him was　
correct？ He could kill me here and now； and later place the onus on me；　
couldn’t　he？　
They　rested　the　dagger　against　my　throat；　and　I　saw　at　once　how　this　gave　
Black　a　pleasure　that　he　could　not　conceal。　They　slapped　me。　Was　the　dagger　
cutting　my　skin？　They　slapped　me　again。　
I　was　able　to　work　through　the　following　logic：　If　I　held　my　peace；　nothing　
would　happen！　This　gave　me　strength。　They　could　no　longer　hide　the　fact　that　
since　the　days　of　our　apprenticeships　they’d　been　jealous　of　me；　I；　who　quite　
evidently　applied　paint　in　the　best　manner；　drew　the　steadiest　line　and　made　
the　best　illuminations。　I　loved　them　for　their　extreme　envy。　I　smiled　upon　my　
beloved　brethren。　
One　of　them；　I　don’t　want　you　to　know　which　of　them　was　responsible　for　
this　disgrace；　passionately　kissed　me　as　if　he　were　kissing　the　beloved　he’d　long　
desired。　The　others　watched　by　the　light　of　the　oil　lamp　that　they　brought　near　
to　us。　I　could　not　but　respond　in　kind　to　this　kiss　from　my　beloved　brother。　If　
we’re nearing the end of everything； let it be known that I do the best　
illuminating。　Find　my　pages　and　see　for　yourselves。　
He began to beat me angrily； as if I’d enraged him by answering his kiss　
with a kiss。 But the others restrained him。 They experienced a moment of　
indecision。　Black　was　upset　that　there　was　a　scuffle　among　them。　It　was　as　if　
they　weren’t　angry　with　me；　but　with　the　direction　in　which　their　lives　were　
420　
headed；　and　as　a　result；　they　wanted　to take their revenge against the entire　
world。　
Black　removed　an　object　from　his　sash：　a　needle　with　a　sharpened　point。　In　
an　instant；　he　brought　it　to　my　face　and　made　a　gesture　as　if　to　plunge　it　into　
my　eyes。　
“Eighty years ago； the great Bihzad； master of masters； understood that　
everything　was　ing　to　an　end　with　the　fall　of　Herat；　and　honorably　blinded　
himself　so　nobody　would　force　him　to　paint　in　another　way；”　he　said。　“A　short　
while after he deliberately inserted this plume needle into his own eye and　
removed it； God’s exquisite darkness slowly descended over His beloved　
servant； this artist with the miraculous hand。 This needle which came from　
Herat　to　Tabriz　with　the　now　drunk　and　blind　Bihzad；　was　sent　as　a　present　by　
Shah　Tahmasp　to　Our　Sultan’s　father；　along　with　that　legendary　Book　of　Kings。　
At　first；　Master　Osman　was　unable　to　determine　why　this　object　was　sent。　But　
today；　he　was　able　to　see　the　ill　will　and　just　logic　behind　this　cruel　present。　
After Master Osman understood that Our Sultan wanted to have His own　
portrait　made　in　the　style　of　the　European　masters　and　that　you　all；　whom　he　
loved　more　than　his　own　children；　had　betrayed　him；　he　stuck　this　needle　into　
each of his eyes last night in the Treasury—in imitation of Bihzad。 Now； if I　
were to blind you； the accursed man responsible for bringing to ruin the　
workshop　Master　Osman　established　at　the　expense　of　his　entire　life；　what　of　
it？”　
“Whether　or　not　you　blind　me；　in　the　end；　we’ll　no　longer　be　able　to　find　a　
place　for　ourselves　here；”　I　said。　“If　Master　Osman　truly　goes　blind；　or　passes　
away； and we paint the way we feel like painting； embracing our faults and　
individuality　under　the　influence　of　the　Franks　so　we　might　possess　a　style；　we　
might　resemble　ourselves；　but　we　won’t　be　ourselves。　No；　even　if　we　were　to　
agree　to　paint　like　the　old　masters；　reasoning　that　only　in　this　way　could　we　be　
ourselves；　Our　Sultan；　who’s　turned　His　back　even　on　Master　Osman；　will　find　
others　to　replace　us。　No　one　will　look　at　us　anymore；　we　shall　only　incur　pity。　
The　raiding　of　the　coffeehouse　merely　rubs　salt　into　our　wounds；　because　half　
the blame for this incident will fall to us miniaturists； who’ve slandered the　
respected　preacher。”　
Although I tried at length to persuade them that it would work quite　
against　us　to　quarrel；　it　was　to　no　avail。　They　had　no　intention　of　listening　to　
me。 They were panicked。 If they could only decide quickly； before morning；　
right　or　wrong；　which　of　their　lot　was　guilty；　they　w