《the days of my life》第157章

ight　as　well　expect　to　inherit　salvation　by　virtue　of　a　study　of　the　doctrines　of　Confucius。　I　hope　that　they　will　inherit　it　all　the　same；　since　God；　who　knows　what　is　in　man　and　the　clay　whereof　we　are　fashioned；　is　merciful；　and　there　may　be；　and　probably　are；　many　roads　to　the　gate　of　Life；　but　in　this　case　it　can　scarcely　be　reached　by　the　faint　and　wandering　path　of　a　materialised　and　eviscerated　Christianity。　Christianity　as　an　effective　creed　depends；　and　always　must　depend；　upon　the　Resurrection　of　its　Founder　while　He　dwelt　on　earth。　Or　so　I　hold。
How；　then；　is　this　necessary　faith　to　be　attained　by　those　who　doubt？　Perhaps　in　many　ways；　though　I　only　know　of　one　—　namely；　by　prayer。　It　is；　at　any　rate　in　its　higher　forms；　a　gift　accorded　in　answer　to　prayer；　it　is　an　inspiration　of　the　Spirit　of　our　Maker　which　flows　down　the　connecting　links　of　prayer。　By　prayer；　too；　I　do　not　mean　a　few　hurried　or　formal　mumblings　in　the　morning　or　at　bedtime：　I　mean　the　continual；　almost　the　hourly；　conversation　of　the　creature　with　his　God。　I　mean　the　habitual　uplifting　of　the　heart　to　heaven；　the　constant　cry　of　fallen　nature　in　sorrow；　in　joy；　in　sin；　in　every　circumstance　of　life；　to　the　Highest　of　all　natures；　who　remembers　of　what　metal　it　is　made　because　in　the　beginning　（ah！　what　beginning？）　it　was　from　Him　and　is　still　His　own。　Feeble；　unworthy　though　it　be；　such　prayer　offered　on　your　own　behalf　or　on　that　of　others；　I　am　sure　is　heard；　is　answered　across　the　unutterable　spaces　—　or　so　it　has　often　seemed　to　me　—　if　put　up　in　faith。　Sometimes　even；　for　a　little　while　it　causes　us　to　understand　what　is　meant　by　the　peace　of　God　that　passes　understanding。　Further；　it　is　as　necessary　to　the　sin…stained　soul　as　is　food　to　the　frail　body。　For　indeed　even　those　among　us；　with　whom　such　as　I　cannot　presume　to　rank　ourselves；　are　full　of　faults　and　must　appear　to　the　Perfect　Eye　as　though　stricken　with　a　moral　leprosy。　Our　only　hope；　knowing　and　remembering　these　faults；　however　oft　and　bitterly　repented　of；　is　to　say　like　the　man　in　the　temple；　“Lord；　I　am　a　miserable　sinner”；　to　seek　for　the　help　we　cannot　give　to　ourselves；　to　crave　that　we　too　may　be　sprinkled　with　the　atoning　Blood。　Why　this　should　be　necessary　I　cannot　say　—　for　who　can　prehend　these　wonders？　—　any　more　than　I　can　understand　the　origin　and　meanings　of　sin；　which　often　enough　seems　to　consist　merely　in　giving　obedience　to　the　imperious　demands　of　that　body　with　which　we　have　been　clothed。　The　gratification　of　these　impulses　generally　bees　sin；　because　Nature　has　no　laws　except　her　own；　and　her　ancient　rule　is　not　that　revealed　by　Christ　in　the　latter　days。
So　it　is　with　almost　everything：　even　true　affection　or　any　other　virtue　exaggerated　can　turn　to　vice。　It　would　seem　as　though　a　man’s　trials　here　were　purposely　made　as　hard　as　may　be；　so　hard　that　at　times　we　may　perhaps　be　forgiven　if　we　wonder　whether　this　world；　at　any　rate　for　some；　is　not　in　truth　one　of　the　chambers　of　the　house　of　hell；　or　at　least　of　that　purgatory　preached　—　so　far　as　I　know　without　warrant　—　as　a　doctrine　of　the　Roman　faith。　By　prayer；　then；　we　can　be　purged　and　helped；　prayer　for　ourselves；　prayer　for　others；　for　the　living；　yes；　and　for　the　dead；　for　who　will　dare　to　say　that　even　the　dead　are　beyond　the　reach　of　benefit　from　our　feeble　crying　in　the　night　to　the　Ruler　of　that　night？　Prayer；　I　repeat；　is　heard；　prayer；　if　it　be　directed　to　lawful　ends；　is　answered　sometimes　when　it　seems　to　be　made　most　in　vain。　If　only　we　had　faith　enough　no　right　thing　would　be　refused　to　us。　Who　knows　the　harvest　that　we　sow　by　means　of　earnest；　faithful　prayer；　and；　though　its　seed　lie　buried　for　a　season；　shall　one　day　reap？　But　most　of　all；　I　think；　should　we　pray　for　knowledge　how　to　pray！
Now　the　road　to　this　goal　of　faith；　which　must　be　found　and　kept　open　by　prayer；　still　remains　full　of　obstacles　and　apt　to　vanish　quite　away；　leaving　the　weary　wanderer　in　a　desert　where　no　water　is。　Light　fails；　dark　grows　the　sky；　again　and　yet　again　cold　winds　of　doubt　freeze　him　to　the　marrow；　sins　overtake　and　conquer　him；　voices　mock　him　from　the　gloom。　They　bid　him　look　back　to　the　warm　world　he　left　upon　his　foolish　quest　to　find　a　star　whither　no　path　leads　that　mortal　can　follow。　They　point　to　the　bones　of　those　who　have　fallen　by　the　way。　They　whisper　that　his　error　lies　in　not　taking　what　he　may　have　while　there　is　still　time；　since　soon　he　must　go　empty　to　the　sleep　which　knows　no　waking。　Poor　fare；　perhaps；　they　say；　yet　better　than　feeding　upon　wind　and　bedewing　the　altar　of　a　heedless　or　non…existent　God　with　repentant　tears　because　of　half…imaginary　sins　begotten　by　a　nature　the　sinner　did　not　shape。
What　traveller　of　the　sort　is　there　who　has　not　been　thrown　back　upon　his　thorny　journey　by　such　thoughts　as　these？　Or　perhaps　some　hideous　and　cruel　loss　has　caused　him　to　doubt　whether；　after　all；　any　Power　does　exist　that　knows　the　name　of　pity　or　can　thrill　with　the　glow　of　love。　Or　the　shock　may　take　other　forms。　He　may　find　that　those　whom　he　thought　to　be　inspired　from　on　high　with　goodness　are　merely　stupid；　that　they　avoid　conspicuous　and　open　error　because　their　slow　natures　are　shut　to　temptations　of　the　larger　sort；　though　they　breed　a　growth　of　petty　mischiefs　not　textually　named　among　the　Ten　mandments　and　therefore；　say　they；　of　no　account。　Or　that　some　friend　whom　he　respects　and　has　leant　on；　perhaps　a　clergyman　of　standing；　after　all　believes　in　little；　and　though　he　practises　its　forms　has　reduced　Christianity　to　the　level　of　high　and　pure　philosophy　enunciated　by　an　unfortunate；　self…denying　young　Jew　of　genius　with　whom　the　established　Church　of　the　period　very　well　knew　how　to　deal。　Or　it　may　be　a　brilliant　but　materialistic　book　that　he　chances　on；　wherein　he　finds　all　the　points　upon　which　he　has　been　accustomed　to　rely　very　cleverly　attacked。　Or　some　great　doctor　may　disturb　him　by　showing　forth　the　origin　of　all　such　aspirations　as　those　of　faith　written　in　the　human　nerves　and　brain。　Or；　to　take　only　one　more　example；　he　may　after　all　find　it　impossible　to　reconcile　the　fact　of　the　existence　of　a　good　and　merciful　God　with　the　state　of　affairs