《安妮日记》第65章

and　a　couple　of　people　were　killed。　as　the　airmen　made　their　descent；　the　germans　sprayed　them　with　bullets。　the　amsterdammers　who　saw　it　seethed　with　rage　at　such　a　dastardly　deed。　we…by　which　i　mean　the　ladies…were　also　scared　out　of　our　wits。　brrr；　i　hate　the　sound　of　gunfire。
now　about　myself。
i　was　with　peter　yesterday　and；　somehow；　i　honestly　dont　know　how；　we　wound　up　talking　about　sex。　id　made　up　my　mind　a　long　time　ago　to　ask　him　a　few　things。　he　knows　everything；　when　i　said　that　margot　and　i　werent　very　well　informed；　he　was　amazed。　i　told　him　a　lot　about　margot　and　me　and　mother　and　father　and　said　that　lately　i　didnt　dare　ask　them　anything。　he　offered　to　enlighten　me；　and　i　gratefully　accepted：　he　described　how　contraceptives　work；　and　i　asked　him　very　boldly　how　boys　could　tell　they　were　grown　up。　he　had　to　think　about　that　one；　he　said　hed　tell　me　tonight。　i　told　him　what　had　happened　to　jacque；　and　said　that　girls　are　defenseless　against　strong　boys。　〃well；　you　dont　have　to　be　afraid　of　me；〃　he　said。
when　i　came　back　that　evening；　he　told　me　how　it　is　with　boys。　slightly　embarrassing；　but　still　awfully　nice　to　be　able　to　discuss　it　with　him。　neither　he　nor　i　had　ever　imagined　wed　be　able　to　talk　so　openly　to　a　girl　or　a　boy；　respectively；　about　such　intimate　matters。　i　think　i　know　everything　now。　he　told　me　a　lot　about　what　he　called　prasentivmitteln　＇　should　be　praservativmitteln：　prophylactics＇　in　german。
that　night　in　the　bathroom　margot　and　i　were　talking　about　bram　and　trees；　two　friends　of　hers。
this　morning　i　was　in　for　a　nasty　surprise：　after　breakfast　peter　beckoned　me　upstairs。　〃that　was　a　dirty　trick　you　played　on　me；〃　he　said。　〃i　heard　what　you　and　margot　were　saying　in　the　bathroom　last　night。　i　think　you　just　wanted　to　find　out　how　much　peter　knew　and　then　have　a　good　laugh！”
i　was　stunned！　i　did　everything　i　could　to　talk　him　out　of　that　outrageous　idea；　i　could　understand　how　he　must　have　felt；　but　it　just　wasnt　true！
〃oh　no；　peter；〃　i　said。　〃id　never　be　so　mean。　i　told　you　i　wouldnt　pass　on　anything　you　said　to　me　and　i　wont。　to　put　on　an　act　like　that　and　then　deliberately　be　so　mean。　。　。　no；peter；　thats　not　my　idea　ofa　joke。
it　wouldnt　be　fair。　i　didnt　say　anything；　honest。　wont　you　believe　me？〃　he　assured　me　he　did；　but　i　think　well　have　to　talk　about　it　again　sometime。　ive　done　nothing　all　day　but　worry　about　it。　thank　goodness　he　came　right　out　and　said　what　was　on　his　mind。　imagine　if　hed　gone　around　thinking　i　could　be　that　mean。　hes　so　sweet！
now　ill　have　to　tell　him　everything！
yours；　anne　
friday；　march　24；　1944
dear　kitty；
i　often　go　up　to　peters　room　after　dinner　nowadays　to　breathe　in　the　fresh　evening　air。　you　can　get　around　to　meaningful　conversations　more　quickly　in　the　dark　than　with　the　sun　tickling　your　face。　its　cozy　and　snug　sitting　beside　him　on　a　chair　and　looking　outside。　the　van　daans　and　dussel　make　the　silliest　remarks　when　i　disappear　into　his　room。　〃annes　zweite　heimat；〃　＇　annes　second　home＇　they　say；　or　〃is　it　proper　for　a　gentleman　to　receive　young　girls　in　his　room　at　night　with　the　lights　out？〃　peter　has　amazing　presence　of　mind　in　the　face　of　these　so…called　witticisms。　my　mother；　incidentally；　is　also　bursting　with　curiosity　and　simply　dying　to　ask　what　we　talk　about；　only　shes　secretly　afraid　id　refuse　to　answer。　peter　says　the　grown…ups　are　just　jealous　because　were　young　and　that　we　shouldnt　take　their　obnoxious　ments　to　heart。
sometimes　he　es　downstairs　to　get　me；　but　thats　awkward　too；　because　in　spite　of　all　his　precautions　his　face　turns　bright　red　and　he　can　hardly　get　the　words　out　of　his　mouth。　im　glad　i　dont　blush；　it　must　be　extremely　unpleasant。
besides；　it　bothers　me　that　margot　has　to　sit　downstairs　all　by　herself；　while　im　upstairs　enjoying　peters　pany。　but　what　can　i　do　about　it？　i　wouldnt　mind　it　if　she　came；　but　shed　just　be　the　odd　one　out；　sitting　there　like　a　lump　on　a　log。
ive　had　to　listen　to　countless　remarks　about　our　sudden　friendship。　i　cant　tell　you　how　often　the　conversation　at　meals　has　been　about　an　annex　wedding；　should　the　war　last　another　five　years。　do　we　take　any　notice　of　this　parental　chitchat？　hardly；　since　its　all　so　silly。　have　my　parents　forgotten　that　they　were　young　once？　apparently　they　have。　at　any　rate；　they　laugh　at　us　when　were　serious；　and　theyre　serious　when　were　joking。
i　dont　know　whats　going　to　happen　next；　or　whether　well　run　out　of　things　to　say。
but　if　it　goes　on　like　this；　well　eventually　be　able　to　be　together　without　talking。　if　only　his　parents　would　stop　acting　so　strangely。　its　probably　because　they　dont　like　seeing　me　so　often；　peter　and　i　certainly　never　tell　them　what　we　talk　about。　imagine　if　they　knew　we　were　discussing　such　intimate　things。
id　like　to　ask　peter　whether　he　knows　what　girls　look　like　down　there。　i　dont　think　boys　are　as　plicated　as　girls。　you　can　easily　see　what　boys　look　like　in　photographs　or　pictures　of　male　nudes；　but　with　women　its　different。　in　women；　the　genitals；　or　whatever　theyre　called；　are　hidden　between　their　legs。　peter　has　probably　never　seen　a　girl　up　close。　to　tell　you　the　truth；　neither　have　i。　boys　are　a　lot　easier。
how　on　earth　would　i　go　about　describing　a　girls　parts？　i　can　tell　from　what　he　said　that　he　doesnt　know　exactly　how　it　all　fits　together。　he　was　talking　about　the　〃muttermund；〃　＇　cervix＇；　but　thats　on　the　inside；　where　you　cant　see　it。　everythings　pretty　well　arranged　in　us　women。　until　i　was　eleven　or　twelve；　i　didnt　realize　there　was　a　second　set　of　labia　on　the　inside；　since　you　couldnt　see　them。　whats　even　funnier　is　that　i　thought　urine　came　out　of　the　clitoris。　i　asked　mother　one　time　what　that　little　bump　was；　and　she　said　she　didnt　know。　she　can　really　play　dumb　when　she　wants　to！
but　to　get　back　to　the　subject。　how　on　earth　can　you　explain　what　it　all　looks　like　without　any　models？
shall　i　try　anyway？　okay；　here　goes！
when　youre　standing　up；　all　you　see　from　the　front　is　hair。　between　your　legs　there　are　two　soft；　cushiony　things；　also　covered　with　hair；　which　press　together　when　youre　standing；　so　you　cant　see　whats　inside。　they　separate　when　you　sit　down；　and　they