《THE AMBER SPYGLASS》第140章

the　master　looked　at　the　gray…haired　lady　with　the　marmoset　daemon　in　her　lap；　and　a　flicker　of　amusement　passed　between　them。
〃whats　that？〃　said　dame　hannah。
〃you　have　to　promise　to　believe　me；〃　lyra　said　seriously。　〃i　know　i　havent　always　told　the　truth；　and　i　could　only　survive　in　some　places　by　telling　lies　and　making　up　stories。　so　i　know　thats　what　ive　been　like；　and　i　know　you　know　it；　but　my　true　storys　too　important　for　me　to　tell　if　youre　only　going　to　believe　half　of　it。　so　i　promise　to　tell　the　truth；　if　you　promise　to　believe　it。〃
〃well；　i　promise；〃　said　dame　hannah。
the　master　said；　〃and　so　do　i。〃
〃but　you　know　the　thing　i　wish；〃　lyra　said；　〃almost；　almost　more　than　anything　else？　i　wish　i　hadnt
lost　the　way　of　reading　the　alethiometer。　oh；　it　was　so　strange；　master；　how　it　came　in　the　first　place　and　then　just　left！　one　day　i　knew　it　so　well；　i　could　move　up　and　down　the　symbol　meanings　and　step　from　one　to　another　and　make　all　the　connections；　it　was　like。。。〃　she　smiled；　and　went　on；　〃well；　i　was　like　a　monkey　in　the　trees；　it　was　so　quick。　then　suddenly；　nothing。　none　of　it　made　sense；　i　couldnt　even　remember　anything　except　just　basic　meanings；　like　the　anchor　means　hope　and　the　skull　means　death。　all　those　thousands　of　meanings。。。gone。〃
〃theyre　not　gone；　though；　lyra；〃　said　dame　hannah。　〃the　books　are　still　in　bodleys　library。　the　scholarship　to　study　them　is　alive　and　well。〃
dame　hannah　was　sitting　opposite　the　master　in　one　of　the　two　armchairs　beside　the　fireplace；　lyra　on　the　sofa　between　them。　the　lamp　by　the　masters　chair　was　all　the　light　there　was；　but　it　showed　the　expressions　of　the　two　old　people　clearly。　and　it　was　dame　hannahs　face　that　lyra　found　herself　studying。　kindly；　lyra　thought；　and　sharp；　and　wise；　but　she　could　no　more　read　what　it　meant　than　she　could　read　the　alethiometer。
〃well；　now；〃　the　master　went　on。　〃we　must　think　about　your　future；　lyra。〃
his　words　made　her　shiver。　she　gathered　herself　and　sat　up。
〃all　the　time　i　was　away；〃　lyra　said；　〃i　never　thought　about　that。　all　i　thought　about　was　just　the　time　i　was　in；　just　the　present。　there　were　plenty　of　times　when　i　thought　i　didnt　have　a　future　at　all。　and　now。。。　well；　suddenly　finding　ive　got　a　whole　life　to　live；　but　no。。。but　no　idea　what　to　do　with　it；　well；　its　like　having　the　alethiometer　but　no　idea　how　to　read　it。　i　suppose　ill　have　to　work；　but　i　dont　know　at　what。　my　parents　are　probably　rich；　but　i　bet　they　never　thought　of　putting　any　money　aside　for　me。　and　anyway；　i　think　they　must　have　used　all　their　money　up　by　now；　so　even　if　i　did　have　a　claim　on　it；　there　wouldnt　be　any　left。　i　dont　know；　master。　i　came　back　to　jordan　because　this　used　to　be　my　home；　and　i　didnt　have　anywhere　else　to　go。　i　think　king　iorek　byrnison　would　let　me　live　on　svalbard；　and　i　think　serafina　pekkala　would　let　me　live　with　her　witch　clan；　but　im　not　a　bear　and　im　not　a　witch；　so　i　wouldnt　really　fit　in　there；　much　as　i　love　them。　maybe　the　gyptians　would　take　me　in。。。but　really　i　dont　know　what　to　do　anymore。　im　lost；　really；　now。〃
they　looked　at　her：　her　eyes　were　glittering　more　than　usual；　her　chin　was　held　high　with　a　look　shed　learned　from　will　without　knowing　it。　she　looked　defiant　as　well　as　lost；　dame　hannah　thought；　and　admired　her　for　it；　and　the　master　saw　something　else；　he　saw　how　the　childs　unconscious　grace　had　gone；　and　how　she　was　awkward　in　her　growing　body。　but　he　loved　the　girl　dearly；　and　he　felt　half…proud　and　half　in　awe　of　the　beautiful　adult　she　would　be；　so　soon。
he　said；　〃you　will　never　be　lost　while　this　college　is　standing；　lyra。　this　is　your　home　for　as　long　as　you　need　it。　as　for　money；　your　father　made　over　an　endowment　to　care　for　all　your　needs；　and　appointed　me　executor；　so　you　neednt　worry　about　that。〃
in　fact；　lord　asriel　had　done　nothing　of　the　sort；　but　jordan　college　was　rich；　and　the　master　had　money　of　his　own；　even　after　the　recent　upheavals。
〃no；〃　he　went　on；　〃i　was　thinking　about　learning。　youre　still　very　young；　and　your　education　until　now　has　depended　on。。。well；　quite　frankly；　on　which　of　our　scholars　you　intimidated　least；〃　he　said；　but　he　was　smiling。　〃its　been　haphazard。　now；　it　may　turn　out　that　in　due　course　your　talents　will　take　you　in　a　direction　we　cant　foresee　at　all。　but　if　you　were　to　make　the　alethiometer　the　subject　of　your　lifes　work；　and　set　out　to　learn　consciously　what　you　could　once　do　by　intuition。。。”
〃yes；〃　said　lyra　definitely。
〃…then　you　could　hardly　do　better　than　put　yourself　in　the　hands　of　my　good　friend　dame　hannah。　her　scholarship　in　that　field　is　unmatched。〃
〃let　me　make　a　suggestion；〃　said　the　lady；　〃and　you　neednt　respond　now。　think　about　it　for　a　while。　now；　my　college　is　not　as　old　as　jordan；　and　youre　too　young　yet　to　bee　an　undergraduate　in　any　case；　but　a　few　years　ago　we　acquired　a　large　house　in　north　oxford；　and　we　decided　to　set　up　a　boarding　school。
id　like　you　to　e　and　meet　the　headmistress　and　see　whether　youd　care　to　bee　one　of　our　pupils。　you　see；　one　thing　youll　need　soon；　lyra；　is　the　friendship　of　other　girls　of　your　age。　there　are　things　that　we　learn　from　one　another　when　were　young；　and　i　dont　think　that　jordan　can　provide　quite　all　of　them。　the　headmistress　is　a　clever　young　woman；　energetic；　imaginative；　kindly。　were　lucky　to　have　her。　you　can　talk　to　her；　and　if　you　like　the　idea；　e　and　make　st。　sophias　your　school；　as　jordan　is　your　home。　and　if　youd　like　to　begin　studying　the　alethiometer　systematically；　you　and　i　could　meet　for　some　private　lessons。　but　theres　time；　my　dear；　theres　plenty　of　time。　dont　answer　me　now。　leave　it　until　youre　ready。〃
〃thank　you；〃　said　lyra；　〃thank　you；　dame　hannah；　i　will。〃
the　master　had　given　lyra　her　own　key　to　the　garden　door　so　she　could　e　and　go　as　she　pleased。　later　that　night；　just　as　the　porter　was　locking　the　lodge；　she　and　pantalaimon　slipped　out　and　made　their　way　through　the　dark　streets；　hearing　all　the　bells　of　oxford　chiming　midnight。
once　they　were　in　the　botanic　garden；　pan　ran　away　over　the　grass　chasing　a　mouse　toward　the　wall；　and　then　let　it　go　and　sprang　up　into　the　huge　pine　tree　nearby。　it　was　delightful　to　see　hi