《1 twilight暮色》第107章

〃You　stole　a　car？〃　I　raised　my　eyebrows。　
He　smiled；　unrepentant。　〃It　was　a　good　car；　very　fast。〃　
〃How　was　your　nap？〃　I　asked。　
〃Interesting。〃　His　eyes　narrowed。　
〃What？〃　
He　looked　down　while　he　answered。　〃I"m　surprised。　I　thought　Florida…　and　
your　mother…　well；　I　thought　that"s　what　you　would　want。〃　
I　stared　at　him　unprehendingly。　〃But　you"d　be　stuck　inside　all　day　in　
Florida。　You"d　only　be　able　to　e　out　at　night；　just　like　a　real　
vampire。〃　
He　almost　smiled；　but　not　quite。　And　then　his　face　was　grave。　〃I　would　
stay　in　Forks；　Bella。　Or　somewhere　like　it；〃　he　explained。　〃Someplace　
where　I　couldn"t　hurt　you　anymore。〃　
It　didn"t　sink　in　at　first。　I　continued　to　stare　at　him　blankly　as　the　
words　one　by　one　clicked　into　place　in　my　head　like　a　ghastly　puzzle。　I　
was　barely　conscious　of　the　sound　of　my　heart　accelerating；　though；　as　my　
breathing　became　hyperventilation；　I　was　aware　of　the　sharp　aching　in　my　
protesting　ribs。　
He　didn"t　say　anything；　he　watched　my　face　warily　as　the　pain　that　had　
nothing　to　do　with　broken　bones；　pain　that　was　infinitely　worse；　
threatened　to　crush　me。　
And　then　another　nurse　walked　purposefully　into　the　room。　Edward　sat　
still　as　stone　as　she　took　in　my　expression　with　a　practiced　eye　before　
turning　to　the　monitors。　
〃Time　for　more　pain　meds；　sweetheart？〃　she　asked　kindly；　tapping　the　IV　
feed。　
〃No；　no；〃　I　mumbled；　trying　to　keep　the　agony　out　of　my　voice。　〃I　don"t　
need　anything。〃　I　couldn"t　afford　to　close　my　eyes　now。　
〃No　need　to　be　brave；　honey。　It"s　better　if　you　don"t　get　too　stressed　
out；　you　need　to　rest。〃　She　waited；　but　I　just　shook　my　head。　
〃Okay；〃　she　sighed。　〃Hit　the　call　button　when　you"re　ready。〃　
She　gave　Edward　a　stern　look；　and　threw　one　more　anxious　glance　at　the　
machinery；　before　leaving。　
His　cool　hands　were　on　my　face；　I　stared　at　him　with　wild　eyes。　
〃Shhh；　Bella；　calm　down。〃　
〃Don"t　leave　me；〃　I　begged　in　a　broken　voice。　
〃I　won"t；〃　he　promised。　〃Now　relax　before　I　call　the　nurse　back　to　sedate　
you。〃　
But　my　heart　couldn"t　slow。　
〃Bella。〃　He　stroked　my　face　anxiously。　〃I"m　not　going　anywhere。　I"ll　be　
right　here　as　long　as　you　need　me。〃　
〃Do　you　swear　you　won"t　leave　me？〃　I　whispered。　I　tried　to　control　the　
gasping；　at　least。　My　ribs　were　throbbing。　
He　put　his　hands　on　either　side　of　my　face　and　brought　his　face　close　to　
mine。　His　eyes　were　wide　and　serious。　〃I　swear。〃　
The　smell　of　his　breath　was　soothing。　It　seemed　to　ease　the　ache　of　my　
breathing。　He　continued　to　hold　my　gaze　while　my　body　slowly　relaxed　and　
the　beeping　returned　to　a　normal　pace。　His　eyes　were　dark；　closer　to　
black　than　gold　today。　
〃Better？〃　he　asked。　
〃Yes；〃　I　said　cautiously。　
He　shook　his　head　and　muttered　something　unintelligible。　I　thought　I　
picked　out　the　word　〃overreaction。〃　
〃Why　did　you　say　that？〃　I　whispered；　trying　to　keep　my　voice　from　
shaking。　〃Are　you　tired　of　having　to　save　me　all　the　time？　Do　you　want　me　
to　go　away？〃　
〃No；　I　don"t　want　to　be　without　you；　Bella；　of　course　not。　Be　rational。　
And　I　have　no　problem　with　saving　you；　either　—　if　it　weren"t　for　the　
fact　that　I　was　the　one　putting　you　in　danger…　that　I"m　the　reason　that　
you"re　here。〃　
〃Yes；　you　are　the　reason。〃　I　frowned。　〃The　reason　I"m　here　—　alive。〃　
〃Barely。〃　His　voice　was　just　a　whisper。　〃Covered　in　gauze　and　plaster　and　
hardly　able　to　move。〃　
〃I　wasn"t　referring　to　my　most　recent　neardeath　experience；〃　I　said；　
growing　irritated。　〃I　was　thinking　of　the　others　—　you　can　take　your　
pick。　If　it　weren"t　for　you；　I　would　be　rotting　away　in　the　Forks　
cemetery。〃　
He　winced　at　my　words；　but　the　haunted　look　didn"t　leave　his　eyes。　
〃That"s　not　the　worst　part；　though；〃　he　continued　to　whisper。　He　acted　as　
if　I　hadn"t　spoken。　〃Not　seeing　you　there　on　the　floor…　crumpled　and　
broken。〃　His　voice　was　choked。　〃Not　thinking　I　was　too　late。　Not　even　
hearing　you　scream　in　pain　—　all　those　unbearable　memories　that　I"ll　
carry　with　me　for　the　rest　of　eternity。　No；　the　very　worst　was　feeling…　
knowing　that　I　couldn"t　stop。　Believing　that　I　was　going　to　kill　you　
myself。〃　
〃But　you　didn"t。〃　
〃I　could　have。　So　easily。〃　
I　knew　I　needed　to　stay　calm…　but　he　was　trying　to　talk　himself　into　
leaving　me；　and　the　panic　fluttered　in　my　lungs；　trying　to　get　out。　
〃Promise　me；〃　I　whispered。　
〃What？〃　
〃You　know　what。〃　I　was　starting　to　get　angry　now。　He　was　so　stubbornly　
determined　to　dwell　on　the　negative。　
He　heard　the　change　in　my　tone。　His　eyes　tightened。　〃I　don"t　seem　to　be　
strong　enough　to　stay　away　from　you；　so　I　suppose　that　you"ll　get　your　
way…　whether　it　kills　you　or　not；〃　he　added　roughly。　
〃Good。〃　He　hadn"t　promised；　though　—　a　fact　that　I　had　not　missed。　The　
panic　was　only　barely　contained；　I　had　no　strength　left　to　control　the　
anger。　〃You　told　me　how　you　stopped…　now　I　want　to　know　why；〃　I　demanded。　
〃Why？〃　he　repeated　warily。　
〃Why　you　did　it。　Why　didn"t　you　just　let　the　venom　spread？　By　now　I　would　
be　just　like　you。〃　
Edward"s　eyes　seemed　to　turn　flat　black；　and　I　remembered　that　this　was　
something　he"d　never　intended　me　to　know。　Alice　must　have　been　
preoccupied　by　the　things　she"d　learned　about　herself…　or　she"d　been　very　
careful　with　her　thoughts　around　him　—　clearly；　he"d　had　no　idea　that　
she"d　filled　me　in　on　the　mechanics　of　vampire　conversions。　He　was　
surprised；　and　infuriated。　His　nostrils　flared；　his　mouth　looked　as　if　it　
was　chiseled　from　stone。　
He　wasn"t　going　to　answer；　that　much　was　clear。　
〃I"ll　be　the　first　to　admit　that　I　have　no　experience　with　
relationships；〃　I　said。　〃But　it　just　seems　logical…　a　man　and　woman　have　
to　be　somewhat　equal…　as　in；　one　of　them　can"t　always　be　swooping　in　and　
saving　the　other　one。　They　have　to　save　each　other　equally。〃　
He　folded　his　arms　on　the　side　of　my　bed　and　rested　his　chin　on　his　arms。　
His　expression　was　smooth；　the　anger　reined　in。　Evidently　he"d　decided　he　
wasn"t　angry　with　me。　I　hoped　I"d　get　a　chance　to　warn　Alice　before　he　
caught　up　with　her。　
〃You　have　saved　me；〃　he　said　quietly。　
〃I　can"t　always　be　Lois