《4 breaking dawn破晓》第181章

He　couldn"t　be　oblivious　to　the　fact　that　Nessie　was　the　only　female　of　his　kind　that　wasn"t　his　halfsister。　
I　didn"t　think　this　idea　had　occurred　to　Jacob　yet。　I　kind　of　hoped　it　wouldn"t　soon。　I"d　had　enough　
fighting　to　last　me　for　a　while。　
Eventually；　the　others　ran　out　of　questions　for　Edward；　and　the　discussion　dissolved　into　a　bunch　of　
smaller　conversations。　
I　felt　oddly　tired。　Not　sleepy；　of　course；　but　just　like　the　day　had　been　long　enough。　I　wanted　some　
peace；　some　normality。　I　wanted　Nessie　in　her　own　bed；　I　wanted　the　walls　of　my　own　little　home　around　
me。　
I　looked　at　Edward　and　felt　for　a　moment　like　I　could　read　his　mind。　I　could　see　he　felt　exactly　the　same　
way。　Ready　for　some　peace。　
〃Should　we　take　Nessie　。。。〃　
"That"s　probably　a　good　idea；〃　he　agreed　quickly。　〃I"m　sure　she　didn"t　sleep　soundly　last　night；　what　with　
all　the　snoring。〃　
He　grinned　at　Jacob。　
Jacob　rolled　his　eyes　and　then　yawned。　〃It"s　been　a　while　since　I　slept　in　a　bed。　I　bet　my　dad　would　get　a　
kick　out　of　having　me　under　his　roof　again。〃　
I　touched　his　cheek。　〃Thank　you；　Jacob。〃　
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〃Anytime；　Bella。　But　you　already　know　that。〃　
He　got　up；　stretched；　kissed　the　top　of　Nessie"s　head；　and　then　the　top　of　mine。　Finally；　he　punched　
Edward"s　shoulder。　〃See　you　guys　tomorrow。　I　guess　things　are　going　to　be　kind　of　boring　now；　aren"t　
they？〃　
〃I　fervently　hope　so；〃　Edward　said。　
We　got　up　when　he　was　gone；　I　shifted　my　weight　carefully　so　that　Nessie　was　never　jostled。　I　was　
deeply　
grateful　to　see　her　getting　a　sound　sleep。　So　much　weight　had　been　on　her　tiny　shoulders。　It　was　time　she　
got　to　be　a　child　again—protected　and　secure。　A　few　more　years　of　childhood。　
The　idea　of　peace　and　security　reminded　me　of　someone　who　didn"t　have　those　feelings　all　the　time。　
〃Oh；　Jasper？〃　I　asked　as　we　turned　for　the　door。　
Jasper　was　sandwiched　tight　in　between　Alice　and　Esme；　somehow　seeming　more　central　to　the　family　
picture　than　usual。　〃Yes；　Bella？〃　
Tm　curious—why　is　J。　Jenks　scared　stiff　by　just　the　sound　of　your　name？〃　
Jasper　chuckled。〃It"s　just　been　my　experience　that　some　kinds　of　working　relationships　are　better　
motivated　by　fear　than　by　moary　gain。〃　
I　frowned；　promising　myself　that　I　would　take　over　that　working　relationship　from　now　on　and　spare　J　
the　heart　attack　that　was　surely　on　the　way。　
We　were　kissed　and　hugged　and　wished　a　good　night　to　our　family。　The　only　off　note　was　Nahuel　again；　
who　looked　intently　after　us；　as　if　he　wished　he　could　follow。　
Once　we　were　across　the　river；　we　walked　barely　faster　than　human　speed；　in　no　hurry；　holding　hands。　I　
was　sick　of　being　under　a　deadline；　and　I　just　wanted　to　take　my　time。　Edward　must　have　felt　the　same。　
〃I　have　to　say；　I"m　thoroughly　impressed　with　Jacob　right　now；〃　Edward　told　me。　
〃Thewolves　make　quite　an　impact；　don"t　they？〃　
〃That"s　not　what　I　mean。　Not　once　today　did　he　think　about　the　fact　that；　according　to　Nahuel；Nessie　
will　befully　matured　in　just　six　and　a　half　years。〃　
I　considered　that　for　a　minute。　〃He　doesn"t　see　her　that　way。　He"s　not　in　a　hurry　for　her　to　grow　up。He　
just　wants　her　to　be　happy。〃　
〃I　know。　Like　I　said；　impressive。　It　goes　against　the　grain　to　say　so；　but　she　could　do　worse。〃　
I　frowned。　〃I"m　not　going　to　think　about　that　for　approximately　six　and　a　half　more　years。〃　
Edward　laughed　and　then　sighed。　〃Of　course；　itlooks　like　he"ll　have　some　petition　to　worry　about　
when　the　time　es。〃　
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My　frown　deepened。　〃I　noticed。　I"m　grateful　to　Nahuel　for　today；　but　all　the　staring　was　a　little　weird。　I　
don"t　care　if　she　is　the　only　halfvampire　he"s　not　related　to。〃　
〃Oh；　he　wasn"t　staring　at　her—he　was　staring　at　you。〃　
That"s　what　it　had　seemed　like。。。　but　that　didn"t　make　any　sense。　〃Why　would　he　do　that？〃　
〃Because　you"re　alive；〃　he　said　quietly。　
〃You　lost　me。〃　
〃All　his　life；〃　he　explained；〃—and　he"s　fifty　years　older　than　I　am—〃　
〃Decrepit；〃　I　interjected。　
Heignored　me。　〃He"s　always　thought　of　himself　as　an　evil　creation；　a　murderer　by　nature。　His　sistersall　
killed　their　mothers　as　well；　but　they　thought　nothing　of　it。　Joham　raised　them　to　think　of　the　humans　as　
animals；　while　they　
were　gods。　But　Nahuel　was　taught　by　Huilen；　and　Huilen　loved　her　sister　more　than　anyone　else。　It　
shaped　his　whole　perspective。　And；　in　some　ways；　he　truly　hated　himself。〃　
〃That"sso　sad；〃I　murmured。　
〃And　then　he　saw　the　three　of　us—and　realized　for　the　first　time　that　just　because　he　ishalf　immortal；　it　
doesn"t　mean　he　is　inherently　evil。　He　looks　at　me　and　sees。。。　what　his　father　should　have　been。〃　
〃You　are　fairly　ideal　in　every　way；〃　I　agreed。　
He　snorted　and　then　was　serious　again。　〃He　looks　at　you　and　sees　the　life　his　mother　should　have　had。〃　
〃Poor　Nahuel；〃　Imurmured；　and　then　sighed　because　I　knew　I　would　never　be　able　to　think　badly　of　him　
after　this；　no　matter　how　unfortable　his　stare　made　me。　
〃Don"t　be　sad　for　him。　He"s　happy　now。　Today；　he"s　finally　begun　to　forgive　himself。〃　
I　smiled　for　Nahuel"s　happiness　and　then　thought　that　today　belonged　to　happiness。　Though　Irina"s　
sacrifice　wasa　dark　shadow　against　the　white　light；　keeping　the　moment　from　perfection；　the　joy　was　
impossible　to　deny。　The　life　I"d　fought　for　was　safe　again。　My　family　was　reunited。　My　daughter　had　a　
beautiful　future　stretching　out　endlessly　in　front　of　her。　Tomorrow　I　would　go　see　my　father；　he　would　see　
that　the　fear　in　my　eyes　had　been　replaced　with　joy；　and　he　would　be　happy；　too。　Suddenly；　I　was　sure　
that　I　wouldn"t　find　him　there　alone。　I　hadn"t　been　as　observant　as　I　might　have　been　in　the　last　few　
weeks；　but　in　this　moment　it　was　like　I"d　known　all　along。　Sue　would　be　with　Charlie—thewerewolves"　
mom　with　the　vampire"s　dad—and　he　wouldn"t　be　alone　anymore。　I　smiled　widely　at　this　new　insight。　
But　most　significant　in　this　tidal　wave　of　happiness　was　the　surest　fact　ofall：　I　was　with　Edward。　
Forever。