《红字-the scarlet letter(英文版)》the scarlet letter(英文版)-第51章

allduty　towards　other　human　beings；　there　remained　a　duty　towards　him；and　something　whispered　me　that　I　was　betraying　it；　in　pledging　myselfto　keep　your　counsel。　Since　that　day；　no　man　is　so　near　to　him　as　you。You　tread　behind　his　every　footstep。　You　are　beside　him；　sleepingand　waking。　You　search　his　thoughts。　You　burrow　and　rankle　in　hisheart！　Your　clutch　is　on　his　life；　and　you　cause　him　to　die　daily　aliving　death；　and　still　he　knows　you　not。　In　permitting　this；　I　havesurely　acted　a　false　part　by　the　only　man　to　whom　the　power　was　leftme　to　be　true！〃 〃What　choice　had　you？〃　asked　Roger　Chillingworth。　〃My　finger；pointed　at　this　man；　would　have　hurled　him　from　his　pulpit　into　adungeon…　thence；　peradventure；　to　the　gallows！〃 〃It　had　been　better　so！〃　said　Hester　Prynne。 〃What　evil　have　I　done　the　man？〃　asked　Roger　Chillingworth　again。　〃Itell　thee；　Hester　Prynne；　the　richest　fee　that　ever　physician　earnedfrom　monarch　could　not　have　bought　such　care　as　I　have　wasted　onthis　miserable　priest！　But　for　my　aid；　his　life　would　have　burned　awayin　torments；　within　the　first　two　years　after　the　perpetration　ofhis　crime　and　thine。　For；　Hester；　his　spirit　lacked　the　strengththat　could　have　borne　up；　as　thine　has；　beneath　a　burden　like　thyscarlet　letter。　Oh；　I　could　reveal　a　goodly　secret！　But　enough！　Whatart　can　do；　I　have　exhausted　on　him。　That　he　now　breathes；　andcreeps　upon　earth；　is　owing　all　to　me！〃 〃Better　he　had　died　at　once！〃　said　Hester　Prynne。 〃Yea；　woman；　thou　sayest　truly！〃　cried　old　Roger　Chillingworth；letting　the　lurid　fire　of　his　heart　blaze　out　before　her　eyes。　〃Betterhad　he　died　at　once！　Never　did　mortal　suffer　what　this　man　hassuffered。　And　all；　all；　in　the　sight　of　his　worst　enemy！　He　has　beenconscious　of　me。　He　has　felt　an　influence　dwelling　always　upon　himlike　a　curse。　He　knew；　by　some　spiritual　sense…　for　the　Creator　nevermade　another　being　so　sensitive　as　this…　he　knew　that　no　friendly　handwas　pulling　at　his　heart…strings；　and　that　an　eye　was　lookingcuriously　into　him；　which　sought　only　evil；　and　found　it。　But　heknew　not　that　the　eye　and　hand　were　mine！　With　the　superstition　monto　his　brotherhood；　he　fancied　himself　given　over　to　a　fiend；　to　betortured　with　frightful　dreams；　and　desperate　thoughts；　the　sting　ofremorse；　and　despair　of　pardon；　as　a　foretaste　of　what　awaits　himbeyond　the　grave。　But　it　was　the　constant　shadow　of　my　presence！…the　closest　propinquity　of　the　man　whom　he　had　most　vilely　wronged！…and　who　had　grown　to　exist　only　by　this　perpetual　poison　of　the　direstrevenge！　Yea；　indeed！…　he　did　not　err！…　there　was　a　fiend　at　hiselbow！　A　mortal　man；　with　once　a　human　heart；　has　bee　a　fiend　forhis　especial　torment！〃 The　unfortunate　physician；　while　uttering　these　words；　lifted　hishands　with　a　look　of　horror；　as　if　he　had　beheld　some　frightful　shape；which　he　could　not　recognise；　usurping　the　place　of　his　own　image　in　aglass。　It　was　one　of　those　moments…　which　sometimes　occur　only　atthe　interval　of　years…　when　a　man"s　moral　aspect　is　faithfullyrevealed　to　his　mind"s　eye。　Not　improbably；　he　had　never　before　viewedhimself　as　he　did　now。 〃Hast　thou　not　tortured　him　enough？〃　said　Hester；　noticing　the　oldman"s　look。　〃Has　he　not　paid　thee　all？〃 〃No！…　no！…　he　has　but　increased　the　debt！〃　answered　the　physician；and　as　he　proceeded；　his　manner　lost　its　fiercer　characteristics；and　subsided　into　gloom。　〃Dost　thou　remember　me；　Hester；　as　I　was　nineyears　agone？　Even　then；　I　was　in　the　autumn　of　my　days；　nor　was　it　theearly　autumn。　But　all　my　life　had　been　made　up　of　earnest；　studious；thoughtful；　quiet　years；　bestowed　faithfully　for　the　increase　ofmine　own　knowledge；　and　faithfully；　too；　though　this　latter　object　wasbut　casual　to　the　other…　faithfully　for　the　advancement　of　humanwelfare。　No　life　had　been　more　peaceful　and　innocent　than　mine；　fewlives　so　rich　with　benefits　conferred。　Dost　thou　remember　me？　Was　Inot；　though　you　might　deem　me　cold；　nevertheless　a　man　thoughtfulfor　others；　craving　little　for　himself…　kind；　true；　just；　and　ofconstant；　if　not　warm　affections？　Was　I　not　all　this？〃 〃All　this；　and　more；〃　said　Hester。 〃And　what　am　I　now？〃　demanded　he；　looking　into　her　face；　andpermitting　the　whole　evil　within　him　to　be　written　on　his　features。　〃Ihave　already　told　thee　what　I　am！　A　fiend！　Who　made　me　so？〃 〃It　was　myself！〃　cried　Hester；　shuddering。　〃It　was　I；　not　lessthan　he。　Why　hast　thou　not　avenged　thyself　on　me？〃 〃I　have　left　thee　to　the　scarlet　letter；〃　replied　RogerChillingworth。　〃If　that　have　not　avenged　me；　I　can　do　no　more！〃 He　laid　his　finger　on　it；　with　a　smile。 〃It　has　avenged　thee！〃　answered　Hester　Prynne。 〃I　judged　no　less；〃　said　the　physician。　〃And　now；　what　wouldstthou　with　me　touching　this　man？〃 〃I　must　reveal　the　secret；〃　answered　Hester　firmly。　〃He　must　discernthee　in　thy　true　character。　What　may　be　the　result；　I　know　not。　Butthis　long　debt　of　confidence；　due　from　me　to　him；　whose　bane　andruin　I　have　been；　shall　at　length　be　paid。　So　far　as　concerns　theoverthrow　or　preservation　of　his　fair　fame　and　his　earthly　state；and　perchance　his　life；　he　is　in　thy　hands。　Nor　do　I…　whom　the　scarletletter　has　disciplined　to　truth；　though　it　be　the　truth　of　red…hotiron；　entering　into　the　soul…　nor　do　I　perceive　such　advantage　inhis　living　any　longer　a　life　of　ghastly　emptiness；　that　I　shallstoop　to　implore　thy　mercy。　Do　with　him　as　thou　wilt！　There　is　no　goodfor　him…　no　good　for　me…　no　good　for　thee！　There　is　no　good　for　littlePearl！　There　is　no　path　to　guide　us　out　of　this　dismal　maze。〃 〃Woman；　I　could　well…nigh　pity　thee！〃　said　Roger　Chillingworth；unable　to　restrain　a　thrill　of　admiration　too；　for　there　ajestic　in　the　despair　which　she　expressed。　〃Thou　hadstgreat　elements。　Peradventure；　hadst　thou　met　earlier　with　a　betterlove　than　mine；　this　evil　had　not　been。　I　pity　thee；　for　the　good　thathas　been　wasted　in　thy　nature！〃 〃And　I　thee；〃　answered　Hester　Prynne；　〃for　the　hatred　that　hastransformed　a　wise　and　just　man　to　a　fiend！　Wilt　thou　yet　purge　it　outof　thee；　and　be　once　more　human？　If　not　for　his　sake；　then　doublyfor　thine　own！　Forgive；　and　leave　his　further　retribution　to　the　Powerthat　claims　it！　I　said；　but　now；　that　there　could　be　no　good　event　forhim；　or　thee；　or　me；　who　are　here　wandering　toget