《安妮日记》第82章

ood　care　of　us；　but　theyre　able　to　put　the　annex　out　of　their　minds；　even　if　its　only　for　a　few　hours　or　a　few　days。　they　have　their　own　worries；　mr。　kleiman　with　his　health　and　bep　with　her　engagement；　which　isnt　looking　very　promising　lat　the　moment。　but　they　also　have　their　outings；　their　visits　with　friends；　their　everyday　lives　as　ordinary　people；　so　that　the　tension　is　sometimes　relieved；　if　only　for　a　short　while；　while　ours　never　is；　never　has　been；　not　once　in　the　two　years　weve　been　here。　how　much　longer　will　this　increasingly　oppressive；　unbearable　weight　press　i　down　on　us？
the　drains　are　clogged　again。　we　cant　run　the　wa…　ter；　or　if　we　do；　only　a　trickle；
we　cant　flush　the　toilet；　so　we　have　to　use　a　toilet　brush；　and　weve　been　putting　our　dirty　water　into　a　big　earthenware　jar。　we　can　man…　age　for　today；　but　what　will　happen　if　the　plumber　cant　fix　it　on　his　own？　the　sanitation　department　cant　e　until　tuesday。
miep　sent　us　a　raisin　bread　with　〃happy　pentecost〃　written　on　top。　its　almost　as　if　she　were　mocking　us；　since　our　moods　and　cares　are　far　from　〃happy。”
weve　all　bee　more　frightened　since　the　van　hoeven　business。　once　again　you　hear　〃shh〃　from　all　i　sides；　and　were　doing　everything　more　quietly。　the　police　forced　the　door　there；　they　could　just　as　easily　do　that　here　too！　what　will　we　do　if　were　ever。
。　。　no；　i　mustnt　write　that　down。　but　the　question　wont　let　itself　be　pushed　to　the　back　of　my　mind　today；　on　the　contrary；　all　the　fear　ive　ever　felt　is　looming　before　me　in　all　its　horror。
i　had　to　go　downstairs　alone　at　eight　this　evening　to　use　the　bathroom。　there　was　no　one　down　there；　since　they　were　all　listening　to　the　radio。　i　wanted　to　be　brave；　but　it
was　hard。　i　always　feel　safer　upstairs　than　in　that　huge；　silent　house；　when　im　alone　with　those　mysterious　muffied　sounds　from　upstairs　and　the　honking　of　horns　in　the　street；　i　have　to　hurry　and　remind　myself　where　i　am　to　keep　from　getting　the　shivers。
miep　has　been　acting　much　nicer　toward　us　since　her　talk　with　father。　but　i　havent　told　you　about　that　yet。　miep　came　up　one　afternoon　all　flushed　and　asked　father　straight　out　if　we　thought　they　too　were　infected　with　the　current　anti…semitism。
father　was　stunned　and　quickly　talked　her　out　of　the　idea；　but　some　of　mieps　suspicion　has　lingered　on。　theyre　doing　more　errands　for　us　now　and　showing　more　of　an　interest　in　our　troubles；　though　we　certainly　shouldnt　bother　them　with　our　woes。　oh；　theyre　such　good；　noble　people！
ive　asked　myself　again　and　again　whether　it　wouldnt　have　been　better　if　we　hadnt　gone　into　hiding；　if　we　were　dead　now　and　didnt　have　to　go　through　this　misery；　especially　so　that　the　others　could　be　spared　the　burden。　but　we　all　shrink　from　this　thought。　we　still　love　life；　we　havent　yet　forgotten　the　voice　of　nature；　and　we　keep　hoping；　hoping　for。　。　。　everything。
let　something　happen　soon；　even　an　air　raid。　nothing　can　be　more　crushing　than　this　anxiety。　let　the　end　e；　however　cruel；　at　least　then　well　know　whether　we　are　to　be　the　victors　or　the　vanquished。
yours；　anne　
m。　frank
wednesday；　may　31；　1944
dearest　kitty；
saturday；　sunday；　monday　and　tuesday　it　was　too　hot　to　hold　my　fountain　pen；　which　is　why　i　couldnt　write　to　you。　friday　the　drains　were　clogged；　saturday　they　were　fixed。　mrs。　kleiman　came　for　a　visit　in　the　afternoon　and　told　us　a　lot　about　jopiej　she　and　jacque　van　maarsen　are　in　the　same　hockey　club。　sunday　bep　dropped　by　to　make　sure　there　hadnt　been　a　break…in　and　stayed　for　breakfast。　monday　（a　holiday　because　of　pentecost）；　mr。　gies　served　as　the　annex　watchman；　and　tuesday　we　were　finally　allowed　to　open　the　windows。　weve　seldom　had　a　pentecost　weekend　that　was　so　beautiful　and　warm。　or　maybe　〃hot〃　is　a　better　word。　hot　weather　is　horrible　in　the　annex。　to　give　you　an　idea　of　the　numerous　plaints；　ill　briefly　describe　these　sweltering　days。
saturday：　〃wonderful；　what　fantastic　weather；〃　we　all　said　in　the　morning。　〃if　only　it
werent　quite　so　hot；〃　we　said　in　the　afternoon；　when　the　windows　had　to　be　shut。
sunday：　〃the　heats　unbearable；　the　butters　melt…　ing；　theres　not　a　cool　spot　anywhere　in　the　house；　the　breads　drying　out；　the　milks　going　sour；　the　windows　cant　be　opened。　we　poor　outcasts　are　suffocating　while　everyone　else　is　enjoying　their　pentecost。〃　（according　to　mrs。　van　d。）
monday：　〃my　feet　hurt；　i　have　nothing　cool　to　wear；　i　cant　do　the　dishes　in　this　heat！〃　grumbling　from　early　in　the　morning　to　late　at　night。　it　was　awful。
i　cant　stand　the　heat。　im　glad　the　winds　e　up　today；　but　that　the　suns　still　shining。
yours；　anne　
m。　frank
xs
JUNE；　1944
？小｜说网
friday；　june　2；　1944　
j　dear　kitty；
〃if　youre　going　to　the　attic；　take　an　umbrella　with　you；　preferably　a　large　one！〃　this　is　to　protect　you　from　〃household　showers。〃　theres　a　dutch　proverb：　〃high　and　dry；　safe　and　sound；〃　but　it　obviously　doesnt　apply　to　wartime　（guns！）　and　to　people　in　hiding　（cat　box！）。　mouschis　gotten　into　the　habit　of　relieving　herself　on　some　newspapers　or　between　the　cracks　in　the　floor　boards；　so　we　have　good　reason　to　fear　the　splatters　and；　even　worse；　the　stench。　the　new　moortje　in　the　warehouse　has　the　same　problem。　anyone　whos　ever　had　a　cat　thats　not　housebroken　can　imagine　the　smells；　other　than　pepper　and　thyme；　that　permeate　this　house。
i　also　have　a　brand…new　prescription　for　gunfire　jitters：　when　the　shooting　gets　loud；　proceed　to　the　nearest　wooden　staircase。　run　up　and　down　a　few　times；　making　sure　to　stumble　at　least　once。　what　with　the　scratches　and　the　noise　of　running　and　falling；　you　wont　even　be　able　to　hear　the　shooting；　much　less　worry　about　it。　yours　truly　has　put　this　magic　formula　to　use；　with　great　success！
yours；　anne　
m。　frank
monday；　june　5；　1944
dearest　kitty；
new　problems　in　the　annex。　a　quarrel　between　dussel　and　the　franks　over　the
division　of　butter。　capitulation　on　the　part　of　dussel。　close　friendship　between　the　latter　and　mrs。　van　daan；　flirtations；　kisses　and　friendly　little　smiles。　dussel　is　beginning　to　long　for　female　panionship。
the　van　daans　dont　see　why　we　should　bake　a　spice　cake　for　mr。　kuglers　birthday　when　we　cant　h