《安妮日记》第90章

lways　steal　a　march　on　the　deeper　side　and　therefore　always　win。　you　cant　imagine　how　often　ive　tried　to　p：ush　away　this　anne；　which　is　only　half　of　what　is　known　as　anne…to　beat　her　down；　hide　her。　but　it　doesnt　work；　and　i　know　why。
im　afraid　that　people　who　know　me　as　i　usually　am　will　discover　i　have　another　side；　a　better　and　finer　side。　im　afraid　theyll　mock　me；　think　im　ridiculous　and　sentimental　and　not　take　me　seriously。　im　used　to　not　being　taken　seriously；　but　only　the　〃lighthearted〃　anne　is　used　to　it　and　can　put　up　with　it；　the　〃deeper〃　anne　is　too　weak。　if　i　force　the　good　anne　into　the　spotlight　for　even　fifteen　minutes；　she　shuts　up　like　a　clam　the　moment　shes　called　upon　to　speak；　and　lets　anne　number　one　do　the　talking。　before　i　realize　it；　shes　disappeared。
so　the　nice　anne　is　never　seen　in　pany。　shes　never　made　a　single　appearance；　though　she　almost　always　takes　the　stage　when　im　alone。　i　know　exactly　how　id　like　to　be；　how　i　am　。　。　。　on　the　inside。　but　unfortunately　im　only　like　that　with　myself。
and　perhaps　thats　why…no；　im　sure　thats　the　reason　why　……　i　think　of　myself　as　happy　on　the　inside　and　other　people　think　im　happy　on　the　outside。　im　guided　by
the　pure　anne　within；　but　on　the　outside　im　nothing　but　a　frolicsome　little　goat　tugging　at　its　tether。
as　ive　told　you；　what　i　say　is　not　what　i　feel；　which　is　why　i　have　a　reputation　for　being　boy…crazy　as　well　as　a　flirt；　a　smart　aleck　and　a　reader　of　romances。　the　happy…go…lucky　anne　laughs；　gives　a　flippant　reply；　shrugs　her　shoulders　and　pretends　she　doesnt　give　a　darn。　the　quiet　anne　reacts　in　just　the　opposite　way。　if　im　being　pletely　honest；　ill　have　to　admit　that　it　does　matter　to　me；　that　im　trying　very　hard　to　change　myself；　but　that　i　im　always　up　against　a　more　powerful　enemy。
a　voice　within　me　is　sobbing；　〃you　see；　thats　whats　bee　of　you。　youre　surrounded　by　negative　opinions；　dismayed　looks　and　mocking　faces；　people；　who　dislike　you；　and　all　because　you　dont　listen　to　the　；　advice　of　your　own　better　half。”
believe　me；　id　like　；　to　listen；　but　it　doesnt　work；　because　if　im　quiet　and　serious；　everyone　thinks　im　putting　on　a　new　act　and　i　have　to　save　myself　with　a　joke；　and　then　im　not　even　talking　about　my　own　family；　who　assume　i　must　be　sick；　stuff　me　with　aspirins　and　sedatives；　feel　my　neck　and　forehead　to　see　if　i　have　a　temperature；　ask　about　my　bowel　movements　and　berate　me　for　being　in　a　bad　mood；　until　i　just　cant　keep　it　up　anymore；　because　jj　when　everybody　starts　hovering　over　me；　i　get　cross；　then　sad；　and　finally　end　up　turning　my　heart　inside　g　out；　the　bad　part　on　the　outside　and　the　good　part　on　the　inside；　and　keep　trying　to　find　a　way　to　bee　what　id　like　to　be　and　what　i　could　be　if　。　。　。　if　only　there　were　no　other　people　in　the　world。
yours；　anne　
m。　frank
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annes　diary　ends　here。
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afterword
on　the　morning　of　august　4；　1944；　sometime　between　ten　and　ten…thirty；　a　car　pulled　up　at　263　prinsengracht。　several　figures　emerged：　an　ss　sergeant；　karl　josef　silberbauer；　in　full　uniform；　and　at　least　three　dutch　members　of　the　security　police；　armed　but　in　civilian　clothes。　someone　must　have　tipped　them　off。
they　arrested　the　eight　people　hiding　in　the　annex；　as　well　as　two　of　their　helpers；　victor　kugler　and　johannes　kleiman　……　though　not　miep　gies　and　elisabeth　（bep）
voskuijl…and　took　all　the　valuables　and　cash　they　could　find　in　the　annex。
after　the　arrest；　kugler　and　kleiman　were　taken　to　a　prison　in　amsterdam。　on　september　11；　1944；　they　were　transferred；　without　benefit　of　a　trial；　to　a　camp　in　amersfoort　（holland）。　kleiman；　because　of　his　poor　health；　was　released　on　september　18；　1944。　he　remained　in　amsterdam　until　his　death　in　1959。
kugler　managed　to　escape　his　imprisonment　on　march　28；　1945；　when　he　and　his　fellow　prisoners　were　being　sent　to　germany　as　forced　laborers。　he　immigrated　to　canada　in　1955　and　died　in　toronto　in　1989。
elisabeth　（bep）　voskuijl　wijk　died　in　amsterdam　in　1983。
miep　santrouschitz　gies　is　still　living　in　amsterdam；　her　husband　jan　died　in　1993。
upon　their　arrest；　the　eight　residents　of　the　annex　were　first　brought　to　a　prison　in　amsterdam　and　then　transferred　to　westerbork；　the　transit　camp　for　jews　in　the　north　of　holland。　they　were　deported　on　september　3；　1944；　in　the　last　transport　to　leave　westerbork；　and　arrived　three　days　later　in　auschwitz　（poland）。
hermann　van　pels　（van　daan）　was；　according　to　the　testimony　of　otto　frank；　gassed　to　death　in　auschwitz　in　october　or　november　1944；　shortly　before　the　gas　chambers　were　dismantled。
auguste　van　pels　（petronella　van　daan）　was　transported　from　auschwitz　to　bergen…belsen；　from　there　to　buchenwald；　then　to　theresienstadt　on　april　9；　1945；　and　apparently　to　another　concentration　camp　after　that。　it　is　certain　that　she　did　not　survive；　though　the　date　of　her　death　is　unknown。
peter　van　pels　（van　daan）　was　forced　to　take　part　in　the　january　16；　1945　〃death　march〃　from　auschwitz　to　mauthausen　（austria）；　where　he　died　on　may　5；　1945；　three　days　before　the　camp　was　liberated。
fritz　pfeffer　（albert　dussel）　died　on　december　20；　1944；　in　the　neuengamme　concentration　camp；　where　he　had　been　transferred　from　either　buchenwald　or　sachsenhausen。
edith　frank　died　in　auschwitz…birkenau　on　january　6；　1945；　from　hunger　and　exhaustion。
margot　and　anne　frank　were　transported　from　auschwitz　at　the　end　of　october　and
brought　to　bergen　belsen；　a　concentration　camp　near　hannover　（germany）。　the　typhus　epidemic　that　broke　out　in　the　winter　of　1944…1945；　as　a　result　of　the　horrendous　hygenic　conditions；　killed　thousands　of　prisoners；　including　margot　and；　a　few　days　later；　anne。　she　must　have　died　in　late　february　or　early　march。　the　bodies　of　both　girls　were　probably　dumped　in　bergen…belsens　mass　graves。　the　camp　was　liberated　by　british　troops　on　april　12；　1945。
otto　frank　was　the　only　one　of　the　eight　to　survive　the　concentration　camps。　after　auschwitz　was　liberated　by　russian　troops；　he　was　repatriated　to　amsterdam　by　way　of　odessa　and　marseille。　he　arrived　in　amsterdam　on　june　3；　1945；　and　stayed　there　until　1953；　when　he　moved　to　basel