《安妮日记》第89章

get　close　to　me；　and　now　hes　holding　on　for　dear　life。　i　honestly　dont　see　any　effective　way　of　shaking　him　off　and　getting　him　back　on　his　own　two　feet。　i　soon　realized　he　could　never　be　a　kindred　spirit；　but　still　tried　to　help　him　break　out　of　his　narrow　world　and　expand　his　youthful　horizons。
〃deep　down；　the　young　are　lonelier　than　the　old。〃　i　read　this　in　a　book　somewhere　and　its　stuck　in　my　mind。　as　far　as　i　can　tell；　its　true。
so　if　youre　wondering　whether　its　harder　for　the　adults　here　than　for　the　children；　the　answer　is　no；　its　certainly　not。　older　people　have　an　opinion　about　everything　and　are　sure　of　themselves　and　their　actions。　its　twice　as　hard　for　us　young　people　to　hold　on　to　our　opinions　at　a　time　when　ideals　are　being　shattered　and　destroyed；　when　the　worst　side　of　human　nature　predominates；　when　everyone　has　e　to　doubt　truth；　justice　and　god。
anyone　who　claims　that　the　older　folks　have　a　more　difficult　time　in　the　annex　doesnt　realize　that　the　problems　have　a　far　greater　impact　on　us。　were　much　too　young　to　deal　with　these　problems；　but　they　keep　thrusting　themselves　on　us　until；　finally；　were　forced　to　think　up　a　solution；　though　most　of　the　time　our　solutions　crumble　when　faced　with　the　facts。　its　difficult　in　times　like　these：　ideals；　dreams　and　cherished　hopes　rise　within　us；　only　to　be　crushed　by　grim　reality。　its　a　wonder　i　havent　abandoned　all　my　ideals；　they　seem　so　absurd　and　impractical。　yet　i　cling　to　them　because　i　still　believe；　in　spite　of　everything；　that　people　are　truly　good　at　heart。
its　utterly　impossible　for　me　to　build　my　life　on　a　foundation　of　chaos；　suffering　and　death。　i　see　the　world　being　slowly　transformed　into　a　wilderness；　i　hear　the　approaching　thunder　that；　one　day；　will　destroy　us　too；　i　feel　the　suffering　of　millions。
and　yet；　when　i　look　up　at　the　sky；　i　somehow　feel　that　everything　will　change　for　the　better；　that　this　cruelty　too　shall　end；　that　peace　and　tranquthty　will　return　once　more。　in　the　meantime；　i　must　hold　on　to　my　ideals。　perhaps　the　day　will　e　when　ill　be　able　to　realize　them！
yours；　anne　
m。　frank
friday；　july　21；　1944
dearest　kitty；
im　finally　getting　optimistic。　now；　at　last；　things　are　going　well！　they　really　are！
great　news！　an　assassination　attempt　has　been　made　on　hitlers　life；　and　for　once　not　by　jewish　munists　or　english　capitalists；　but　by　a　german　general　whos　not　only　a　count；　but　young　as　well。　the　fuhrer　owes　his　life　to　〃divine　providence〃：　he　escaped；　unfortunately；　with　only　a　few　minor　burns　and　scratches。　a　number　of　the　officers　and　generals　who　were　nearby　were　killed　or　wounded。　the　head　of　the　conspiracy　has　been　shot。
this　is　the　best　proof　weve　had　so　far　that　many　officers　and　generals　are　fed　up　with　the　war　and　would　like　to　see　hitler　sink　into　a　bottomless　pit；　so　they　can　establish　a　mthtary　dictatorship；　make　peace　with　the　allies；　rearm　themselves　and；　after　a　few　decades；　start　a　new　war。　perhaps　providence　is　deliberately　biding　its　time　getting　rid　of　hider；　since　its　much　easier；　and　cheaper；　for　the　allies　to　let　the　impeccable　germans　kill　each　other　off。　its　less　work　for　the　russians　and　the　british；　and　it　allows　them　to　start　rebuilding　their　own　cities　all　that　much　sooner。　but　we　havent　reached　that　point　yet；　and　id　hate　to　anticipate　the　glorious　event。　still；　youve　probably　noticed　that　im　telling　the　truth；　the　whole　truth　and　nothing　but　the　truth。　for　once；　im　not　rattling　on　about　high　ideals。
furthermore；　hitler　has　been　so　kind　as　to　announce　to　his　loyal；　devoted　people　that　as　of　today　all　mthtary　personnel　are　under　orders　of　the　gestapo；　and　that　any　soldier　who　knows　that　one　of　his　superiors　was　involved　in　this　cowardly　attempt　on　the　fuhrers　life　may　shoot　him　on　sight！
a　fine　kettle　of　fish　that　will　be。　little　johnnys　feet　are　sore　after　a　long　march　and　his　manding　officer　bawls　him　out。　johnny　grabs　his　rifle；　shouts；　〃you；　you　tried　to　kill　the　fuhrer。　take　that！〃　one　shot；　and　the　snooty　officer　who　dared　to　reprimand　him　passes　into　eternal　life　（or　is　it　eternal　death？）。　eventually；　every　time　an　officer　sees　a　soldier　or　gives　an　order；　hell　be　practically　wetting　his　pants；　because　the　soldiers　have　more　say…so　than　he　does。
were　you　able　to　follow　that；　or　have　i　been　skipping　from　one　subject　to　another　again？　i　cant　help　it；　the　prospect　of　going　back　to　school　in　october　is　making　me　too　happy　to　be　logical！　oh　dear；　didnt　i　just　get　through　telling　you　i　didnt　want　to　anticipate　events？　forgive　me；　kitty；　they　dont　call　me　a　bundle　of　contradictions　for　nothing！
yours；　anne　
m。　frank
。。
AUGUST；　1944
。
tuesday；　august　1；　1944
dearest　kitty；
〃a　bundle　of　contradictions〃　was　the　end　of　my　previous　letter　and　is　the　beginning　of　this　one。　can　you　please　tell　me　exactly　what　〃a　bundle　of　contradictions〃　is？　what　does　〃contradiction〃　mean？　like　so　many　words；　it　can　be　interpreted　in　two　ways：　a　contradiction　imposed　from　without　and　one　imposed　from　within。　the　former　means　not　accepting　other　peoples　opinions；　always　knowing　best；　having　the　last　word；　in　short；　all　those　unpleasant　traits　for　which　im　known。　the　latter；　for　which　im　not　known；　is　my　own　secret。
as　ive　told　you　many　times；　im　split　in　two。　one　side　contains　my　exuberant　cheerfulness；　my　flippancy；　my　joy　in　life　and；　above　all；　my　abthty　to　appreciate　the　lighter　side　of　things。　by　that　i　mean　not　finding　anything　wrong　with　flirtations；　a　kiss；　an　embrace；　an　off…color　joke。　this　side　of　me　is　usually　lying　in　wait　to　ambush　the　other　one；　which　is　much　purer；　deeper　and　finer。　no　one　knows　annes　better　side；　and　thats　why　most　people　cant　stand　me。　oh；　i　can　be　an　amusing　clown　for　an　afternoon；　but　after　that　everyones　had　enough　of　me　to　last　a　month。　actually；　im　what　a　romantic　movie　is　to　a　profound　thinker　……　a　mere　diversion；　a　ic　interlude；　something　that　is　soon　forgotten：　not　bad；　but　not　particularly　good　either。　i　hate　having　to　tell　you　this；　but　why　shouldnt　i　admit　it　when　i　know　its　true？　my　lighter；　more　superficial　side　will　always　steal　a　march　on　the　deeper　side　and　therefore　always　win。　you　cant　imagine　how　often　ive　trie