《Four Years》第16章

the　chalk　was　intended　to　mark　down　her　score　when　she　played　patience。　one　saw　in　the　next　room　a　large　table　where　every　night　her　followers　and　guests；　often　a　great　number；　sat　down　to　their　vegetarian　meal；　while　she　encouraged　or　mocked　through　the　folding　doors。　a　great　passionate　nature；　a　sort　of　female　dr。　johnson；　impressive；　i　think；　to　every　man　or　woman　who　had　themselves　any　richness；　she　seemed　impatient　of　the　formalism；　of　the　shrill　abstract　idealism　of　those　about　her；　and　this　impatience　broke　out　inrailing　&　many　nicknames：　o　you　are　a　flapdoodle；　but　then　you　are　a　theosophist　and　a　brother。　the　most　devout　and　learned　of　all　her　followers　said　to　me；　h。p。b。　has　just　told　me　that　there　is　another　globe　stuck　on　to　this　at　the　north　pole；　so　that　the　earth　has　really　a　shape　something　like　a　dumb？bell。　i　said；　for　i　knew　that　her　imagination　contained　all　the　folklore　of　the　world；　that　must　be　some　piece　of　eastern　mythology。　o　no　it　is　not；　he　said；　of　that　i　am　certain；　and　there　must　be　something　in　it　or　she　would　not　have　said　it。　her　mockery　was　not　kept　for　her　followers　alone；　and　her　voice　would　bee　harsh；　and　her　mockery　lose　phantasy　and　humour；　when　she　spoke　of　what　seemed　to　her　scientific　materialism。　once　i　saw　this　antagonism；　guided　by　some　kind　of　telepathic　divination；　take　a　form　of　brutal　phantasy。　i　brought　a　very　able　dublin　woman　to　see　her　and　this　woman　had　a　brother；　a　physiologist　whosereputation；　though　known　to　specialists　alone；　was　european；　and；　because　of　this　brother；　a　family　pride　in　everything　scientific　and　modern。　the　dublin　woman　scarcely　opened　her　mouth　the　whole　evening　and　her　name　was　certainly　unknown　to　madame　blavatsky；　yet　i　saw　at　once　in　that　wrinkled　old　face　bent　over　the　cards；　and　the　only　time　i　ever　saw　it　there；　a　personal　hostility；　the　dislike　of　one　woman　for　another。
madame　blavatsky　seemed　to　bundle　herself　up；　being　all　primeval　peasant；　and　began　plaining　of　her　ailments；　more　especially　of　her　bad　leg。　but　of　late　her　master？？her　old　jew；　her　ahasuerus；　cured　it；　or　set　it　on　the　way　to　be　cured。　i　was　sitting　here　in　my　chair；　she　said；　when　the　master　came　in　and　brought　something　with　him　which　he　put　over　my　knee；　something　warm　which　enclosed　my　knee？？it　was　a　live　dog　which　he　had　cut　open。　i　recognised　a　cure　used　sometimes　in　mediaeval　medicine。　she　had　two　masters；　and　their　portraits；　ideal　indian　heads；　painted　by　some　most　inpetent　artist；　stood　upon　either　side　of　the　folding　doors。　one　night；　when　talk　was　impersonal　and　general；　i　sat　gazing　through　the　folding　doors　into　the　dimly　lighted　dining？room　beyond。　i　noticed　a　curious　red　light　shining　upon　a　picture　and　got　up　to　see　where　the　red　light　came　from。　it　was　the　picture　of　an　indian　and　as　i　came　near　it　slowly　vanished。　when　i　returned　to　my　seat；　madame　blavatsky　said；　what　did　you　see？　a　picture；　i　said。　tell　it　to　go　away。　it　is　already　gone。　so　much　the　better；　she　said；　i　was　afraid　it　was　medium　ship　but　it　is　only　clairvoyance。
what　is　the　difference？　if　it　had　been　medium　ship；　it　would　have　stayed　in　spite　of　you。　beware　of　medium　ship；　it　is　a　kind　of　madness；　i　know；　for　i　have　been　through　it。
i　found　her　almost　always　full　of　gaiety　that；　unlike　the　occasional　joking　of　those　about　her；　was　illogical　and　incalculable　and　yet　always　kindly　and　tolerant。　i　had　called　one　evening　to　find　her　absent；　but　expected　every　moment。　she　had　been　somewhere　at　the　seaside　for　her　health　and　arrived　with　a　little　suite　of　followers。　she　sat　down　at　once　in　her　big　chair；　and　began　unfolding　a　brown　paper　parcel；　while　all　looked　on　full　of　curiosity。　it　contained　a　large　family　bible。　this　is　a　present　for　my　maid；　she　said。　what！　a　bible　and　not　even　anointed！　said　some　shocked　voice。　well　my　children；　was　the　answer；　what　is　the　good　of　giving　lemons　to　those　who　want　oranges？　when　i　first　began　to　frequent　her　house；　as　i　soon　did　very　constantly；　i　noticed　a　handsome　clever　woman　of　the　world　there；　who　seemed　certainly　very　much　out　of　place；　penitent　though　she　thought　herself。　presently　there　was　much　scandal　and　gossip；　for　the　penitent　was　plainly　entangled　with　two　young　men；　who　were　expected　to　grow　into　ascetic　sages。　the　scandal　was　so　great　that　madame　blavatsky　had　to　call　the　penitent　before　her　and　to　speak　after　this　fashion；　we　think　that　it　is　necessary　to　crush　the　animal　nature；　you　should　live　in　chastity　in　act　and　thought。　initiation　is　granted　only　to　those　who　are　entirely　chaste；　and　so　to　run　on　for　some　time。　however；　after　some　minutes　in　that　vehement　style；　the　penitent　standing　crushed　and　shamed　before　her；　she　had　wound　up；　i　cannot　permit　you　more　than　one。　she　was　quite　sincere；　but　thought　that　nothing　mattered　but　what　happened　in　the　mind；　and　that　if　we　could　not　master　the　mind；　our　actions　were　of　little　importance。　one　young　man　filled　her　with　exasperation；　for　she　thought　that　his　settled　gloom　came　from　his　chastity。　i　had　known　him　in　dublin；　where　he　had　been　accustomed　to　interrupt　long　periods　of　asceticism；　in　which　he　would　eat　vegetables　and　drink　water；　with　brief　outbreaks　of　what　he　considered　the　devil。　after　an　outbreak　he　would　for　a　few　hours　dazzle　the　imagination　of　the　members　of　the　local　theosophical　society　with　poetical　rhapsodies　about　harlots　and　street　lamps；　and　then　sink　into　weeks　of　melancholy。　a　fellow　theosophist　once　found　him　hanging　from　the　window　pole；　but　cut　him　down　in　the　nick　of　time。　i　said　to　the　man　who　cut　him　down；　what　did　you　say　to　one　another？　he　said；　we　spent　the　night　telling　ic　stories　and　laughing　a　great　deal。　this　man；　torn　between　sensuality　and　visionary　ambition；　was　now　the　most　devout　of　all；　and　told　me　that　in　the　middle　of　the　night　he　could　often　hear　the　ringing　of　the　little　astral　bell　whereby　madame　blavatskys　master　called　her　attention；　and　that；　although　it　was　a　low　silvery　sound　it　made　the　whole　house　shake。　another　night　i　found　him　waiting　in　the　hall　to　show　in　those　who　had　the　right　of　entrance　on　some　night　when　the　discussion　was　private；　and　as　i　passed　he　whispered　into　my　ear；　madame　blavatsky　is　perhaps　not　a　real　woman　at