《THE AMBER SPYGLASS》第123章

one　was　that　of　the　clouds；　driven　across　the　moon　in　one　direction；　and　the　other　was　that　of　the　stream　of　dust；　seeming　to　cross　it　in　quite　another。
and　of　the　two；　the　dust　was　flowing　more　quickly　and　at　much　greater　volume。　in　fact；　the　whole　sky　seemed　to　be　flowing　with　it；　a　great　inexorable　flood　pouring　out　of　the　world；　out　of　all　the　worlds；　into　some　ultimate　emptiness。
slowly；　as　if　they　were　moving　themselves　in　her　mind；　things　joined　up。
will　and　lyra　had　said　that　the　subtle　knife　was　three　hundred　years　old　at　least。　so　the　old　man　in　the　tower　had　told　them。
the　mulefa　had　told　her　that　the　sraf；　which　had　nurtured　their　lives　and　their　world　for　thirty…three　thousand　years；　had　begun　to　fail　just　over　three　hundred　years　ago。
according　to　will；　the　guild　of　the　torre　degli　angeli；　the　owners　of　the　subtle　knife；　had　been　careless；　they　hadnt　always　closed　the　windows　they　opened。　well；　mary　had　found　one；　after　all；　and　there　must　be　many　others。
suppose　that　all　this　time；　little　by　little；　dust　had　been　leaking　out　of　the　wounds　the　subtle　knife　had　made　in　nature。。。
she　felt　dizzy；　and　it　wasnt　only　the　swaying　and　rising　and　falling　of　the　branches　she　was　wedged　among。　she　put　the　spyglass　carefully　in　her　pocket　and　hooked　her　arms　over　the　branch　in　front；　gazing　at　the　sky；　the　moon；　the　scudding　clouds。
the　subtle　knife　was　responsible　for　the　small…scale；　low…level　leakage。　it　was　damaging；　and　the　universe　was　suffering　because　of　it；　and　she　must　talk　to　will　and　lyra　and　find　a　way　to　stop　it。
but　the　vast　flood　in　the　sky　was　another　matter　entirely。　that　was　new；　and　it　was　catastrophic。　and　if　it　wasnt　stopped；　all　conscious　life　would　e　to　an　end。　as　the　mulefa　had　shown　her；　dust　came　into　being　when　living　things　became　conscious　of　themselves；　but　it　needed　some　feedback　system　to　reinforce　it　and　make　it　safe；　as　the　mulefa　had　their　wheels　and　the　oil　from　the　trees。　without　something　like　that；　it　would　all　vanish。　thought；　imagination；　feeling；　would　all　wither　and　blow　away；　leaving　nothing　but　a　brutish　automatism；　and　that　brief　period　when　life　was　conscious　of　itself　would　flicker　out　like　a　candle　in　every　one　of　the　billions　of　worlds　where　it　had　burned　brightly。
mary　felt　the　burden　of　it　keenly。　it　felt　like　age。　she　felt　eighty　years　old；　worn　out　and　weary　and　longing　to　die。
she　climbed　heavily　out　of　the　branches　of　the　great　fallen　tree；　and　with　the　wind　still　wild　in　the　leaves　and　the　grass　and　her　hair；　set　off　hack　to　the　village。
at　the　summit　of　the　slope　she　looked　for　the　last　time　at　the　dust　stream；　with　the　clouds　and　the　wind　blowing　across　it　and　the　moon　standing　firm　in　the　middle。
and　then　she　saw　what　they　were　doing；　at　last：　she　saw　what　that　great　urgent　purpose　was。
they　were　trying　to　hold　back　the　dust　flood。　they　were　striving　to　put　some　barriers　up　against　the　terrible　stream：　wind；　moon；　clouds；　leaves；　grass；　all　those　lovely　things　were　crying　out　and　hurling
themselves　into　the　struggle　to　keep　the　shadow　particles　in　this　universe；　which　they　so　enriched。
matter　loved　dust。　it　didnt　want　to　see　it　go。　that　was　the　meaning　of　this　night；　and　it　was　marys　meaning；　too。
had　she　thought　there　was　no　meaning　in　life；　no　purpose；　when　god　had　gone？　yes；　she　had　thought　that。
〃well；　there　is　now；〃　she　said　aloud；　and　again；　louder：　〃there　is　now！〃
as　she　looked　again　at　the　clouds　and　the　moon　in　the　dust　flow；　they　looked　as　frail　and　doomed　as　a　dam　of　little　twigs　and　tiny　pebbles　trying　to　hold　back　the　mississippi。　but　they　were　trying；　all　the　same。　theyd　go　on　trying　till　the　end　of　everything。
how　long　she　stayed　out；　mary　didnt　know。　when　the　intensity　of　her　feeling　began　to　subside；　and　exhaustion　took　its　place；　she　made　her　way　slowly　down　the　hill　toward　the　village。
and　when　she　was　halfway　down；　near　a　little　grove　of　knot…wood　bushes；　she　saw　something　strange　out　on　the　mudflats。　there　was　a　glow　of　white；　a　steady　movement：　something　ing　up　with　the　tide。
she　stood　still；　gazing　intently。　it　couldnt　be　the　tualapi；　because　they　always　moved　in　a　flock；　and　this　was　on　its　own。
but　everything　about　it　was　the　same；　the　sail…like　wings；　the　long　neck；　it　was　one　of　the　birds；　no　doubt　about　it。　she　had　never　heard　of　their　moving　about　alone；　and　she　hesitated　before　running　down　to　warn　the　villagers；　because　the　thing　had　stopped；　in　any　case。　it　was　floating　on　the　water　close　to　the　path。
and　it　was　ing　apart。。。　no；　something　was　getting　off　its　back。
the　something　was　a　man。
she　could　see　him　quite　clearly；　even　at　that　distance；　the　moonlight　was　brilliant；　and　her　eyes　were　adjusted　to　it。　she　looked　through　the　spyglass；　and　put　the　matter　beyond　doubt：　it　was　a　human　figure；　radiating　dust。
he　was　carrying　something：　a　long　stick　of　some　kind。　he　came　along　the　path　quickly　and　easily；　not　running；　but　moving　like　an　athlete　or　a　hunter。　he　was　dressed　in　simple　dark　clothes　that　would　normally　conceal　him　well；　but　through　the　spyglass　he　showed　up　as　if　he　were　under　a　spotlight。
and　as　he　came　closer　to　the　village；　she　realized　what　that　stick　was。　he　was　carrying　a　rifle。
she　felt　as　if　someone　had　poured　icy　water　over　her　heart。　every　separate　hair　on　her　flesh　stirred。
she　was　too　far　away　to　do　anything：　even　if　shed　shouted；　he　wouldnt　have　heard。　she　had　to　watch　as　he　stepped　into　the　village；　looking　to　the　left　and　right；　stopping　every　so　often　to　listen；　moving　from　house　to　house。
marys　mind　felt　like　the　moon　and　the　clouds　trying　to　hold　back　the　dust　as　she　cried　out　silently：　dont　look　under　the　tree；　go　away　from　the　tree　。。。
but　he　moved　closer　and　closer　to　it；　finally　stopping　outside　her　own　house。　she　couldnt　bear　it；　she　put　the　spyglass　in　her　pocket　and　began　to　run　down　the　slope。　she　was　about　to　call　out；　anything；　a　wild　cry；　but　just　in　time　she　realized　that　it　might　wake　will　or　lyra　and　make　them　reveal　themselves；　and　she　choked　it　back。
then；　because　she　couldnt　bear　not　knowing　what　the　man　was　doing；　she　stopped　and　fumbled　for　the　spyglass　again；　and　had　to　stand　still　while