ed to strength inside her。 the cry that had woken me; and the cries that continued to resound all around the house; were not hers but adeline’s; and they did not cease till morning; when emmeline’s infant; a boy; was delivered。
it was the seventh of january。
emmeline slept; she smiled in her sleep。
i bathed the baby。 he opened his eyes and goggled; astounded by the touch of the warm water。
the sun rose。
the time for decisions had e and gone; and no decision had been made; yet here we were; on the other side of disaster; and we were safe。
my life could go on。
。。
The Thirteenth TaleFIRE
?小|说网
miss winter seemed to sense the arrival of judith; for when the housekeeper looked around the edge of the door; she found us in silence。 she had brought me cocoa on a tray but also offered to replace me if i wanted to sleep。 i shook my head。 “i’m all right; thanks。”
miss winter also refused when judith reminded her she could take more of the white tablets if she needed them。
when judith was gone; miss winter closed her eyes again。
‘how is the wolf?“ i asked。
‘quiet in the corner;“ she said。 ”why shouldn’t he be? he is certain of his victory。 so he’s content to bide his time。 he knows i’m not going to make a fuss。 we’ve agreed to terms。“
‘what terms?“
‘he is going to let me finish my story; and then i am going to let him finish me。“
she told me the story of the fire; while the wolf counted down the words。
i had never given a great deal of thought to the baby before he arrived。 i had considered the practical aspects of hiding a baby in the house; certainly; and i had a plan for his future。 if we could keep him secret for a time; my intention was to allow his presence to be known later。 though it would no doubt be whispered about; he could be introduced as the orphan child of a distant member of the family; and if people chose to wonder about his exact parentage; they were free to do so; nothing they could do would force us to reveal the truth。 when making these plans; i had envisaged the baby as a difficulty that needed to be resolved。 i had not taken into account that he was my flesh and blood。 i had not expected to love him。
he was emmeline’s; that was reason enough。 he was ambrose’s。 that was a subject i did not dwell on。 but he was also mine。 i marveled at his pearly skin; at the pink jut of his lips; at the tentative movements of his tiny hands。 the ferocity of my desire to protect him overwhelmed me: i wanted to protect him for emmeline’s sake; to protect her for his sake; to protect the two of them for myself。 watching him and emmeline together; i could not drag my eyes away。 they were beautiful。 my one desire was to keep them safe。 and i soon learned that they needed a guardian to keep them safe。
adeline was jealous of the baby。 more jealous than she had been of hester; more jealous than of me。 it was only to be expected: emmeline had been fond of hester; she loved me; but neither of these affections had touched the supremacy of her feeling for adeline。 but the baby… ah; the baby was different。 the baby usurped all。
i should not have been surprised at the extent of adeline’s hatred。 i knew how ugly her anger could be; had witnessed the extent of her violence。 yet the day i first understood the lengths she might go to; i could scarcely believe it。 passing emmeline’s bedroom; i silently pushed the door open to see if she was still sleeping。 i found adeline in the room; leaning over the crib by the bed; and something in her posture alarmed me。 hearing my step; she started; then turned and rushed past me out of the room。 in her hands she clutched a small cushion。
i felt pelled to dash to the cot。 the infant was sleeping soundly; hand curled by his ear; breathing his light; delicate baby breath。
safe!
until next time。
i began to spy on adeline。 my old days of haunting came in useful again as from behind curtains and yew trees i watched her。 there was a randomness in her actions; indoors or outdoors; taking no notice of the time of day or the weather; she engaged in meaningless; repeated actions。 she was obeying dictates that were outside my understanding。 but gradually one activity came particularly to my attention。 once; twice; three times a day; she came to the coach house and left it again; carrying a can of petrol with her each time。 she took the can to the drawing room; or the library or the garden。 then she would seem to lose interest。 she knew what she was doing; but distantly; half forgetful。 when she wasn’t looking i took the cans away。 whatever did she make of the disappearing cans? she must have thought they had some animus of their own; that they could move about at will。 or perhaps she took her memories of moving them for dreams or plans yet to be realized。 whatever the reason; she did not seem to find it strange that they were not where she had left them。 yet despite the waywardness of the petrol cans; she persisted in fetching them from the coach house; and secreting them in various places around the house。
i seemed to spend half my day returning the cans to the coach louse。 but one day; not wanting to leave emmeline and the baby asleep and unprotected; i put one instead in the library。 out of sight; behind he books; on an upper shelf。 and it occurred to me that perhaps this was a better place。 because; by always returning them to the coach house; all i was doing was ensuring that it would go on forever。 a merry…go…round。 by removing them from the circuit altogether; perhaps i might put an end to the rigmarole。
watching her tired me out; but she! she never tired。 a little sleep went a long way with her。 she could be up and about at any hour of the night。 and i was getting sleepy。 one day; in the early evening; emmeline went to bed。 the boy was in his cot in her room。 he’d been colicky; awake and wailing all day; but now; feeling better; he slept soundly。
i drew the curtains。
it was time to go and check on adeline。 i was tired of always being vigilant。 watching emmeline and her child while they slept; watching adeline while they were awake; i hardly slept at all。 how peaceful it was in the room。 emmeline’s
小说推荐