《1 twilight暮色》第84章

breath　e　and　go　evenly。　
I　wasn"t　quite　sure　we　had　stopped　until　he　reached　back　and　touched　my　
hair。　
〃It"s　over；　Bella。〃　
I　dared　to　open　my　eyes；　and；　sure　enough；　we　were　at　a　standstill。　I　
stiffly　unlocked　my　stranglehold　on　his　body　and　slipped　to　the　ground；　
landing　on　my　backside。　
〃Oh！〃　I　huffed　as　I　hit　the　wet　ground。　
He　stared　at　me　incredulously；　evidently　not　sure　whether　he　was　still　
too　mad　to　find　me　funny。　But　my　bewildered　expression　pushed　him　over　
the　edge；　and　he　broke　into　a　roar　of　laughter。　
I　picked　myself　up；　ignoring　him　as　I　brushed　the　mud　and　bracken　off　the　
back　of　my　jacket。　That　only　made　him　laugh　harder。　Annoyed；　I　began　to　
stride　off　into　the　forest。　
I　felt　his　arm　around　my　waist。　
〃Where　are　you　going；　Bella？〃　
〃To　watch　a　baseball　game。　You　don"t　seem　to　be　interested　in　playing　
anymore；　but　I"m　sure　the　others　will　have　fun　without　you。〃　
〃You"re　going　the　wrong　way。〃　
I　turned　around　without　looking　at　him；　and　stalked　off　in　the　opposite　
direction。　He　caught　me　again。　
〃Don"t　be　mad；　I　couldn"t　help　myself。　You　should　have　seen　your　face。〃　
He　chuckled　before　he　could　stop　himself。　
〃Oh；　you"re　the　only　one　who"s　allowed　to　get　mad？〃　I　asked；　raising　my　
eyebrows。　
〃I　wasn"t　mad　at　you。〃　
〃"Bella；　you"ll　be　the　death　of　me"？〃　I　quoted　sourly。　
〃That　was　simply　a　statement　of　fact。〃　
I　tried　to　turn　away　from　him　again；　but　he　held　me　fast。　
〃You　were　mad；〃　I　insisted。　
〃Yes。〃　
〃But　you　just　said　—〃　
〃That　I　wasn"t　mad　at　you。　Can"t　you　see　that；　Bella？〃　He　was　suddenly　
intense；　all　trace　of　teasing　gone。　〃Don"t　you　understand？〃　
〃See　what？〃　I　demanded；　confused　by　his　sudden　mood　swing　as　much　as　his　
words。　
〃I"m　never　angry　with　you　—　how　could　I　be？　Brave；　trusting…　warm　as　you　
are。〃　
〃Then　why？〃　I　whispered；　remembering　the　black　moods　that　pulled　him　away　
from　me；　that　I"d　always　interpreted　as　welljustified　frustration　—　
frustration　at　my　weakness；　my　slowness；　my　unruly　human　reactions…　
He　put　his　hands　carefully　on　both　sides　of　my　face。　〃I　infuriate　
myself；〃　he　said　gently。　〃The　way　I　can"t　seem　to　keep　from　putting　you　
in　danger。　My　very　existence　puts　you　at　risk。　Sometimes　I　truly　hate　
myself。　I　should　be　stronger；　I　should　be　able　to　—〃　
I　placed　my　hand　over　his　mouth。　〃Don"t。〃　
He　took　my　hand；　moving　it　from　his　lips；　but　holding　it　to　his　face。　
〃I　love　you；〃　he　said。　〃It"s　a　poor　excuse　for　what　I"m　doing；　but　it"s　
still　true。〃　
It　was　the　first　time　he"d　said　he　loved　me　—　in　so　many　words。　He　might　
not　realize　it；　but　I　certainly　did。　
〃Now；　please　try　to　behave　yourself；〃　he　continued；　and　he　bent　to　softly　
brush　his　lips　against　mine。　
I　held　properly　still。　Then　I　sighed。　
〃You　promised　Chief　Swan　that　you　would　have　me　home　early；　remember？　
We"d　better　get　going。〃　
〃Yes；　ma"am。〃　
He　smiled　wistfully　and　released　all　of　me　but　one　hand。　He　led　me　a　few　
feet　through　the　tall；　wet　ferns　and　draping　moss；　around　a　massive　
hemlock　tree；　and　we　were　there；　on　the　edge　of　an　enormous　open　field　in　
the　lap　of　the　Olympic　peaks。　It　was　twice　the　size　of　any　baseball　
stadium。　
I　could　see　the　others　all　there；　Esme；　Emmett；　and　Rosalie；　sitting　on　a　
bare　outcropping　of　rock；　were　the　closest　to　us；　maybe　a　hundred　yards　
away。　Much　farther　out　I　could　see　Jasper　and　Alice；　at　least　a　quarter　
of　a　mile　apart；　appearing　to　throw　something　back　and　forth；　but　I　never　
saw　any　ball。　It　looked　like　Carlisle　was　marking　bases；　but　could　they　
really　be　that　far　apart？　
When　we　came　into　view；　the　three　on　the　rocks　rose。　
Esme　started　toward　us。　Emmett　followed　after　a　long　look　at　Rosalie"s　
back；　Rosalie　had　risen　gracefully　and　strode　off　toward　the　field　
without　a　glance　in　our　direction。　My　stomach　quivered　uneasily　in　
response。　
〃Was　that　you　we　heard；　Edward？〃　Esme　asked　as　she　approached。　
〃It　sounded　like　a　bear　choking；〃　Emmett　clarified。　
I　smiled　hesitantly　at　Esme。　〃That　was　him。〃　
〃Bella　was　being　unintentionally　funny；〃　Edward　explained；　quickly　
settling　the　score。　
Alice　had　left　her　position　and　was　running；　or　dancing；　toward　us。　She　
hurtled　to　a　fluid　stop　at　our　feet。　〃It"s　time；〃　she　announced。　
As　soon　as　she　spoke；　a　deep　rumble　of　thunder　shook　the　forest　beyond　
us；　and　then　crashed　westward　toward　town。　
〃Eerie；　isn"t　it？〃　Emmett　said　with　easy　familiarity；　winking　at　me。　
〃Let"s　go。〃　Alice　reached　for　Emmett"s　hand　and　they　darted　toward　the　
oversized　field；　she　ran　like　a　gazelle。　He　was　nearly　as　graceful　and　
just　as　fast　—　yet　Emmett　could　never　be　pared　to　a　gazelle。　
〃Are　you　ready　for　some　ball？〃　Edward　asked；　his　eyes　eager；　bright。　
I　tried　to　sound　appropriately　enthusiastic。　〃Go　team！〃　
He　snickered　and；　after　mussing　my　hair；　bounded　off　after　the　other　two。　
His　run　was　more　aggressive；　a　cheetah　rather　than　a　gazelle；　and　he　
quickly　overtook　them。　The　grace　and　power　took　my　breath　away。　
〃Shall　we　go　down？〃　Esme　asked　in　her　soft；　melodic　voice；　and　I　realized　
I　was　staring　openmouthed　after　him。　I　quickly　reassembled　my　expression　
and　nodded。　Esme　kept　a　few　feet　between　us；　and　I　wondered　if　she　was　
still　being　careful　not　to　frighten　me。　She　matched　her　stride　to　mine　
without　seeming　impatient　at　the　pace。　
〃You　don"t　play　with　them？〃　I　asked　shyly。　
〃No；　I　prefer　to　referee　—　I　like　keeping　them　honest；〃　she　explained。　
〃Do　they　like　to　cheat；　then？〃　
〃Oh　yes　—　you　should　hear　the　arguments　they　get　into！　Actually；　I　hope　
you　don"t；　you　would　think　they　were　raised　by　a　pack　of　wolves。〃　
〃You　sound　like　my　mom；〃　I　laughed；　surprised。　
She　laughed；　too。　〃Well；　I　do　think　of　them　as　my　children　in　most　ways。　
I　never　could　get　over　my　mothering　instincts　—　did　Edward　tell　you　I　had　
lost　a　child？〃　
〃No；〃　I　murmured；　stunned；　scrambling　to　understand　what　lifetime　she　was　
remembering。　
〃Yes；　my　first　and　only　baby。　He　died　just　a　few　days　after　he　was　born；　
the　poor　tiny　thing；〃　she　sighed。　〃It　broke　my　heart　—　that"s　why　I　
jumped　off　the　cliff；　you　know；〃