《2 new+moon新月》第109章

I　was　stubborn；　I　fought　with　my　heavy　lids；　and　I　won。　
The　dark　road　was　the　hardest　part；　the　bright　lights　at　the　airport　in　Florence　made　it　easier；　as　did　the　
chance　to　brush　my　teeth　and　change　into　clean　clothes；　Alice　bought　Edward　new　clothes；　too；　and　he　
left　the　dark　cloak　on　a　pile　of　trash　in　an　alley。　The　plane　trip　to　Rome　was　so　short　that　there　wasn"t　
really　a　chance　for　the　fatigue　to　drag　me　under。　I　knew　the　flight　from　Rome　to　Atlanta　would　be　another　
matter　entirely；　so　I　asked　the　flight　attendant　if　she　could　bring　me　a　Coke。　
〃Bella；〃　Edward　said　disapprovingly。　He　knew　my　low　tolerance　for　caffeine。　
Alice　was　behind　us。　I　could　hear　her　murmuring　to　Jasper　on　the　phone。　
〃I　don"t　want　to　sleep；〃　I　reminded　him。　I　gave　him　an　excuse　that　was　believable　because　it　was　true。　〃If　
I　close　my　eyes　now；　I"ll　see　things　I　don"t　want　to　see。　I"ll　have　nightmares。〃　
He　didn"t　argue　with　me　after　that。　
It　would　have　been　a　very　good　time　to　talk；　to　get　the　answers　I　needed—needed　but　not　really　wanted；　
I　was　already　despairing　at　the　thought　of　what　I　might　hear。　We　had　an　uninterrupted　block　of　tirre　
ahead　of　us；　and　he　couldn"t　escape　me　on　an　airplane—well；　not　easily；　at　least。　No　one　would　hear　us　
except　Alice；　it　was　late；　and　most　of　the　passengers　were　turning　off　lights　and　asking　for　pillows　in　
muted　voices。　Talk　would　help　me　fight　off　the　exhaustion。　
But；　perversely；　I　bit　my　tongue　against　the　flood　of　questions。　My　reasoning　was　probably　flawed　by　
exhaustion；　but　I　hoped　that　by　postponing　the　discussion；　I　could　buy　a　few　more　hours　with　him　at　
some　later　time—spin　this　out　for　another　night；　Scheherazadestyle。　
So　I　kept　drinking　soda；　and　resisting　even　the　urge　to　blink。　Edward　seemed　perfectly　content　to　hold　
me　in　his　arms；　his　fingers　tracing　my　face　again　and　again。　I　touched　his　face；　too。　I　couldn"t　stop　myself；　
though　I　was　afraid　it　would　hurt　me　later；　when　I　was　alone　again。　He　continued　to　kiss　my　hair；　my　
forehead；　my　wrists…　but　never　my　lips；　and　that　was　good。　After　all；　how　many　ways　can　one　heart　be　
mangled　and　still　be　expected　to　keep　beating？　I"d　lived　through　a　lot　that　should　have　finished　me　in　the　
last　few　days；　but　it　didn"t　make　me　feel　strong。　Instead；　I　felt　horribly　fragile；　like　one　word　could　shatter　
me。　
Edward　didn"t　speak。　Maybe　he　was　hoping　I　would　sleep。　Maybe　he　had　nothing　to　say。　
I　won　the　fight　against　my　heavy　lids。　I　was　awake　when　we　reached　the　airport　in　Atlanta；　and　I　even　
watched　the　sun　beginning　to　rise　over　Seattle"s　cloud　cover　before　Edward　slid　the　window　shut。　I　was　
proud　of　myself。　I　hadn"t　missed　one　minute。　
Neither　Alice　nor　Edward　was　surprised　by　the　reception　that　waited　for　us　at　SeaTac　airport；　but　it　
caught　me　off　guard。　Jasper　was　the　first　one　I　saw—he　didn"t　seem　to　see　me　at　all。　His　eyes　were　only　
for　Alice。　She　went　quickly　to　his　side；　they　didn"t　embrace　like　other　couples　meeting　there。　They　only　
stared　into　each　other"s　faces；　yet；　somehow；　the　moment　was　so　private　that　I　still　felt　the　need　to　look　
away。　
Carlisle　and　Esme　waited　in　a　quiet　corner　far　from　the　line　for　the　metal　detectors；　in　the　shadow　of　a　
wide　pillar。　Esme　reached　for　me；　hugging　me　fiercely；　yet　awkwardly；　because　Edward　kept　his　arms　
around　me；　too。　
〃Thank　you　so　much；〃　she　said　in　my　ear。　
Then　she　threw　her　arms　around　Edward；　and　she　looked　like　she　would　be　crying　if　that　were　possible。　
〃Youwill　never　put　me　through　：hat　again；〃　she　nearly　growled。　
Edward　grinned；　repentant。　〃Sorry；　Mom。〃　
〃Thank　you；　Bella；〃　Carlisle　said。　〃We　owe　you。〃　
〃Hardly；〃　I　mumbled。　The　sleepless　night　was　suddenly　overpowering。　My　head　felt　disconnected　from　
my　body。　
〃She"s　dead　on　her　feet；〃　Esme　scolded　Edward。　〃Let"s　get　her　home。〃　
Not　sure　if　home　was　what　I　wanted　at　this　point；　I　stumbled；　halfblind；　through　the　airport；　Edward　
dragging　me　on　one　side　and　Esme　on　the　other。　I　didn"t　know　if　Alice　and　Jasper　were　behind　us　or　not；　
and　I　was　too　exhausted　to　look。　
I　think　I　was　mostly　asleep；　though　I　was　still　walking；　when　we　reached　their　car。　The　surprise　of　seeing　
Emmett　and　Rosalie　leaning　against　the　black　sedan　under　the　dim　lights　of　the　parking　garage　revived　me　
some。　Edward　stiffened。　
〃Don"t；〃　Esme　whispered。　〃She　feels　awful。〃　
〃She　should；〃　Edward　said；　making　no　attempt　to　keep　his　voice　down。　
〃It"s　not　her　fault；〃　I　said；　my　words　garbled　with　exhaustion。　
〃Let　her　make　amends；〃　Esme　pleaded。　〃We"ll　ride　with　Alice　and　Jasper。〃　
Edward　glowered　at　the　absurdly　lovely　blond　vampire　waiting　for　us。　
〃Please；　Edward；〃　I　said。　I　didn"t　want　to　ride　with　Rosalie　any　more　than　he　seemed　to；　but　I"d　caused　
more　than　enough　discord　in　his　family。　
He　sighed；　and　towed　me　toward　the　car。　
Emmett　and　Rosalie　got　in　the　front　seat　without　speaking；　while　Edward　pulled　me　in　the　back　again。　I　
knew　I　wasn"t　going　to　be　able　to　fight　my　eyelids　anymore；　and　I　laid　my　head　against　his　chest　in　defeat；　
letting　them　close。　I　felt　the　car　purr　to　life。　
〃Edward；〃　Rosalie　began。　
〃I　know。〃　Edward"s　brusque　tone　was　not　generous。　
〃Bella？〃　Rosalie　asked　softly。　
My　eyelids　fluttered　open　in　shock。　It　was　the　first　time　she"d　ever　spoken　directly　to　me。　
〃Yes；　Rosalie？〃　I　asked；　hesitant。　
〃I"m　so　very　sorry；　Bella。　I　feel　wretched　about　every　part　of　this；　and　so　grateful　that　you　were　brave　
enough　to　go　save　my　brother　after　what　I　did。　Please　say　you"ll　forgive　me。〃　
The　words　were　awkward；　stilted　because　of　her　embarrassment；　but　they　seemed　sincere。　
〃Of　course；　Rosalie；〃　I　mumbled；　grasping　at　any　chance　to　make　her　hate　me　a　little　less。　〃It"s　not　your　
fault　at　all。　I"m　the　one　who　jumped　off　the　damn　cliff。　Of　course　I　forgive　you。〃　
The　words　came　out　like　mush。　
〃It　doesn"t　count　until　she"s　conscious；　Rose；〃　Emmett　chuckled。　
〃I"m　conscious；〃　I　said；　it　just　sounded　like　a　garbled　sigh。　
〃Let　her　sleep；〃　Edward　insisted；　but　his　voice　was　a　little　warmer。　
It　was　quiet　then；　except　for　the　gentle　thrum　of　the　engine。　I　must　have　fallen　aslee