《夜与日》第139章

began　to　look　among　his　books。　So　desultory　was　this　
examination　that　some　fifteen　minutes　failed　to　discover　
the　work　they　were　in　search　of。　
“Must　you　read　Macaulay’s　History；　Cassandra？”　Katharine　
asked；　with　a　stretch　of　her　arms。　
“I　must；”　Cassandra　replied　briefly。　
“Well；　I’m　going　to　leave　you　to　look　for　it　by　yourself。”　
“Oh；　no；　Katharine。　Please　stay　and　help　me。　You　see—　
you　see—I　told　William　I’d　read　a　little　every　day。　And　I　
want　to　tell　him　that　I’ve　begun　when　he　es。”　
“When　does　William　e？”　Katharine　asked；　turning　
to　the　shelves　again。　
“To　tea；　if　that　suits　you？”　
“If　it　suits　me　to　be　out；　I　suppose　you　mean。”　
“Oh；　you’re　horrid…　。　Why　shouldn’t　you—？”　
“Yes　？”　
“Why　shouldn’t　you　be　happy　too？”　
“I　am　quite　happy；”　Katharine　replied。　
“I　mean　as　I　am。　Katharine；”　she　said　impulsively；　“do　
let’s　be　married　on　the　same　day。”　
“To　the　same　man？”　
“Oh；　no；　no。　But　why　shouldn’t　you　marry—some　one　
else？”　
“Here’s　your　Macaulay；”　said　Katharine；　turning　round　with　
the　book　in　her　hand。　“I　should　say　you’d　better　begin　to　
read　at　once　if　you　mean　to　be　educated　by　teatime。”　
“Damn　Lord　Macaulay！”　cried　Cassandra；　slapping　the　
book　upon　the　table。　“Would　you　rather　not　talk？”　
“We’ve　talked　enough　already；”　Katharine　replied　evasively。　
“I　know　I　shan’t　be　able　to　settle　to　Macaulay；”　said　
Cassandra；　looking　ruefully　at　the　dull　red　cover　of　the　
373　
Night　and　Day　
prescribed　volume；　which；　however；　possessed　a　talismanic　
property；　since　William　admired　it。　He　had　advised　a　little　
serious　reading　for　the　morning　hours。　
“Have　you　read　Macaulay？”　she　asked。　
“No。　William　never　tried　to　educate　me。”　As　she　spoke　
she　saw　the　light　fade　from　Cassandra’s　face；　as　if　she　
had　implied　some　other；　more　mysterious；　relationship。　
She　was　stung　with　punction。　She　marveled　at　her　
own　rashness　in　having　influenced　the　life　of　another；　as　
she　had　influenced　Cassandra’s　life。　
“We　weren’t　serious；”　she　said　quickly。　
“But　I’m　fearfully　serious；”　said　Cassandra；　with　a　little　
shudder；　and　her　look　showed　that　she　spoke　the　truth。　
She　turned　and　glanced　at　Katharine　as　she　had　never　
glanced　at　her　before。　There　was　fear　in　her　glance；　which　
darted　on　her　and　then　dropped　guiltily。　Oh；　Katharine　
had　everything—beauty；　mind；　character。　She　could　never　
pete　with　Katharine；　she　could　never　be　safe　so　long　
as　Katharine　brooded　over　her；　dominating　her；　disposing　
of　her。　She　called　her　cold；　unseeing；　unscrupulous；　but　
the　only　sign　she　gave　outwardly　was　a　curious　one—she　
reached　out　her　hand　and　grasped　the　volume　of　history。　
At　that　moment　the　bell　of　the　telephone　rang　and　
Katharine　went　to　answer　it。　Cassandra；　released　from　
observation；　dropped　her　book　and　clenched　her　hands。　
She　suffered　more　fiery　torture　in　those　few　minutes　than　
she　had　suffered　in　the　whole　of　her　life；　she　learnt　more　
of　her　capacities　for　feeling。　But　when　Katharine　reappeared　
she　was　calm；　and　had　gained　a　look　of　dignity　
that　was　new　to　her。　
“Was　that　him？”　she　asked。　
“It　was　Ralph　Denham；”　Katharine　replied。　
“I　meant　Ralph　Denham。”　
“Why　did　you　mean　Ralph　Denham？　What　has　William　
told　you　about　Ralph　Denham？”　The　accusation　that　
Katharine　was　calm；　callous；　and　indifferent　was　not　possible　
in　face　of　her　present　air　of　animation。　She　gave　
Cassandra　no　time　to　frame　an　answer。　“Now；　when　are　
you　and　William　going　to　be　married？”　she　asked。　
Cassandra　made　no　reply　for　some　moments。　It　was；　
indeed；　a　very　difficult　question　to　answer。　In　conversation　
the　night　before；　William　had　indicated　to　Cassandra　
374　
Virginia　Woolf　
that；　in　his　belief；　Katharine　was　being　engaged　to　
Ralph　Denham　in　the　diningroom。　Cassandra；　in　the　rosy　
light　of　her　own　circumstances；　had　been　disposed　to　
think　that　the　matter　must　be　settled　already。　But　a　letter　
which　she　had　received　that　morning　from　William；　
while　ardent　in　its　expression　of　affection；　had　conveyed　
to　her　obliquely　that　he　would　prefer　the　announcement　
of　their　engagement　to　coincide　with　that　of　Katharine’s。　
This　document　Cassandra　now　produced；　and　read　aloud；　
with　considerable　excisions　and　much　hesitation。　
“…　a　thousand　pities—ahem—I　fear　we　shall　cause　a　
great　deal　of　natural　annoyance。　If；　on　the　other　hand；　
what　I　have　reason　to　think　will　happen；　should　happen—
within　reasonable　time；　and　the　present　position　is　
not　in　any　way　offensive　to　you；　delay　would；　in　my　opinion；　
serve　all　our　interests　better　than　a　premature　explanation；　
which　is　bound　to　cause　more　surprise　than　is　
desirable—”　
“Very　like　William；”　Katharine　exclaimed；　having　gathered　
the　drift　of　these　remarks　with　a　speed　that；　by　
itself；　disconcerted　Cassandra。　
“I　quite　understand　his　feelings；”　Cassandra　replied。　“I　
quite　agree　with　them。　I　think　it　would　be　much　better；　if　
you　intend　to　marry　Mr。　Denham；　that　we　should　wait　as　
William　says。”　
“But；　then；　if　I　don’t　marry　him　for　months—or；　perhaps；　
not　at　all？”　
Cassandra　was　silent。　The　prospect　appalled　her。　
Katharine　had　been　telephoning　to　Ralph　Denham；　she　
looked　queer；　too；　she　must　be；　or　about　to　bee；　engaged　
to　him。　But　if　Cassandra　could　have　overheard　the　
conversation　upon　the　telephone；　she　would　not　have　
felt　so　certain　that　it　tended　in　that　direction。　It　was　to　
this　effect：　
“I’m　Ralph　Denham　speaking。　I’m　in　my　right　senses　
now。”　
“How　long　did　you　wait　outside　the　house？”　
“I　went　home　and　wrote　you　a　letter。　I　tore　it　up。”　
“I　shall　tear　up　everything　too。”　
“I　shall　e。”　
“Yes。　e　today。”　
“I　must　explain　to　you—”　
375　
Night　and　Day　
“Yes。　We　must　explain—”　
A　long　pause　followed。　Ralph　began　a　sentence；　which　
he　canceled　with　the　word；　“Nothing。”　Suddenly；　together；　
at　the　same　moment；　they　said　goodbye。　And　yet；　if　the　
telephone　had　been　miraculously　connected　with　some　
higher　atmosphere　pungent　with　the　scent　of　th