《首发偶发空缺 (临时空缺)》第145章

he　kept　deputizing　Samantha　to　acpany　her。　This　was　not　the　same　thing　at　all；　even　though　Samantha　was　one　of　the　few　who　managed　to　bring　a　smile　to　Howard’s　purple　vacant　face。
Nobody　seemed　to　realize　how　dreadful　the　silence　was　at　home　either。　When　the　doctors　had　told　the　family　that　recuperation　would　take　months；　Shirley　had　hoped　that　Miles　would　ask　her　to　move　into　the　spare　room　of　the　big　house　in　Church　Row；　or　that　he　might　stay　over；　from　time　to　time；　in　the　bungalow。　But　no：　she　had　been　left　alone；　quite　alone；　except　for　a　painful　three…day　period　when　she　had　played　hostess　to　Pat　and　Melly。
I’d　never　have　done　it；　she　reassured　herself；　automatically；　in　the　silent　night；　when　she　could　not　sleep。　I　never　really　meant　to。　I　was　just　upset。　I’d　never　have　done　it。
She　had　buried　Andrew’s　EpiPen　in　the　soft　earth　beneath　the　bird　table　in　the　garden；　like　a　tiny　corpse。　She　did　not　like　knowing　it　was　there。　Some　dark　evening　soon；　the　night　before　refuse…collection　day；　she　would　dig　it　up　again　and　slip　it　into　a　neighbour’s　bin。
Howard　had　not　mentioned　the　needle　to　her　or　to　anyone。　He　had　not　asked　her　why　she　had　run　away　when　she　saw　him。
Shirley　found　relief　in　long　rattling　streams　of　invective；　directed　at　the　people　who　had；　in　her　stated　opinion；　caused　the　catastrophe　that　had　fallen　on　her　family。　Parminder　Jawanda　was　the　first　of　these；　naturally；　for　her　callous　refusal　to　attend　Howard。　Then　there　were　the　two　teenagers　who；　through　their　vile　irresponsibility；　had　diverted　the　ambulance　that　might　have　reached　Howard　sooner。
The　latter　argument　was　perhaps　a　little　weak；　but　it　was　the　enjoyable　fashion　to　denigrate　Stuart　Wall　and　Krystal　Weedon；　and　Shirley　found　plenty　of　willing　listeners　in　her　immediate　circle。　What　was　more；　it　had　transpired　that　the　Wall　boy　had　been　the　Ghost　of　Barry　Fairbrother　all　along。　He　had　confessed　to　his　parents；　and　they　had　personally　telephoned　the　victims　of　the　boy’s　spite　to　apologize。　The　Ghost’s　identity　had　leaked　swiftly　into　the　wider　munity；　and　this；　coupled　with　the　knowledge　that　he　had　been　jointly　responsible　for　the　drowning　of　a　three…year…old　child；　made　abuse　of　Stuart　both　a　duty　and　a　pleasure。
Shirley　was　more　vehement　in　her　ments　than　anybody。　There　was　a　savagery　in　her　denunciations；　each　of　them　a　little　exorcism　of　the　kinship　and　admiration　she　had　felt　for　the　Ghost；　and　a　repudiation　of　that　awful　last　post　which　nobody　else；　as　yet；　had　admitted　to　seeing。　The　Walls　had　not　telephoned　Shirley　to　apologize；　but　she　was　constantly　primed；　in　case　the　boy　should　mention　it　to　his　parents；　or　in　case　anybody　should　bring　it　up；　to　deliver　a　final　crushing　blow　to　Stuart’s　reputation。
‘Oh　yes；　Howard　and　I　know　all　about　it；’　she　planned　to　say；　with　icy　dignity；　‘and　it’s　my　belief　that　the　shock　caused　his　heart　attack。’
She　had　actually　practised　saying　this　aloud　in　the　kitchen。
The　question　of　whether　Stuart　Wall　had　really　known　something　about　her　husband　and　Maureen　was　less　urgent　now；　because　Howard　was　patently　incapable　of　shaming　her　in　that　way　again；　and　perhaps　never　would　be；　and　nobody　seemed　to　be　gossiping。　And　if　the　silence　she　offered　Howard；　when　she　was　unavoidably　alone　with　him；　was　tinged　with　a　sense　of　grievance　on　both　sides；　she　was　able　to　face　the　prospect　of　his　protracted　incapacitation　and　absence　from　the　house　with　more　equanimity　than　she　might　have　thought　possible　three　weeks　previously。
The　doorbell　rang　and　Shirley　hurried　to　open　it。　Maureen　was　there；　hobbling　on　ill…advised　high　heels；　garish　in　bright　aquamarine。
‘Hello；　dear；　e　in；’　said　Shirley。　‘I’ll　get　my　bag。’
‘They’re　saying　people　got　up　a　collection；’　said　Maureen；　brimful　of　gossip　that　Shirley　had　somehow　missed；　in　her　endless　back　and　forward　trips　to　the　hospital。　‘Don’t　ask　me　who。　Anyway；　I　wouldn’t　have　thought　the　family　would　want　it　right　by　the　river；　would　you？’
（The　dirty　and　foul…mouthed　little　boy；　of　whose　existence　few　had　been　aware；　and　of　whom　nobody　but　his　mother　and　sister　had　been　especially　fond；　had　undergone　such　a　transformation　in　Pagford’s　collective　mind　by　his　drowning；　that　he　was　spoken　of　everywhere　as　a　water　baby；　a　cherub；　a　pure　and　gentle　angel　whom　all　would　have　embraced　with　love　and　passion；　if　only　they　could　have　saved　him。
But　the　needle　and　the　flame　had　had　no　transformative　effect　upon　Krystal’s　reputation；　on　the　contrary；　they　had　fixed　her　permanently　in　the　mind　of　Old　Pagford　as　a　soulless　creature　whose　pursuit　of　what　the　elderly　liked　to　call　kicks　had　led　to　the　death　of　an　innocent　child。）
Shirley　was　pulling　on　her　coat。
‘You　realize；　I　actually　saw　them　that　day？’　she　said；　her　cheeks　turning　pink。　‘The　boy　bawling　by　one　clump　of　bushes；　and　Krystal　Weedon　and　Stuart　Wall　in　another—’
‘Did　you？　And　were　they　really　…？’　asked　Maureen　avidly。
‘Oh　yes；’　said　Shirley。　‘Broad　daylight。　Open　air。　And　the　boy　was　right　by　the　river　when　I　saw　him。　A　couple　of　steps　and　he’d　have　been　in。’
Something　in　Maureen’s　expression　stung　her。
‘I　was　hurrying；’　said　Shirley　with　asperity；　‘because　Howard　had　said　he　was　feeling　poorly　and　I　was　worried　sick。　I　didn’t　want　to　go　out　at　all；　but　Miles　and　Samantha　had　sent　Lexie　over　–　I　think；　if　you　want　my　honest　opinion；　they’d　had　a　row　–　and　then　Lexie　wanted　to　visit　the　café　–　I　was　absolutely　distracted；　and　all　I　could　think　was；　I　must　get　back　to　Howard　…　I　didn’t　actually　realize　what　I’d　seen　until　much　later　…　and　the　dreadful　thing；’　said　Shirley；　her　colour　higher　than　ever；　and　returning　again　to　her　favourite　refrain；　‘is　that　if　Krystal　Weedon　hadn’t　let　that　child　wander　off　while　she　was　having　her　fun　in　the　bushes；　the　ambulance　would　have　reached　Howard　so　much　more　quickly。　Because；　you　know；　with　two　of　them　ing　…　things　got　confu—’
‘That’s　right；’　said　Maureen；　interrupting　as　they　moved　out　towards　the　car；　because　she　had　heard　all　this　before。　‘You　know；　I　can’t　think　why　they’re　having　the　service　here　in　Pagford　…’
She　longed　to　suggest　that　they　drive　pas